Jon Bon Jovi - "Don't feel guilty"
STRAIGHT TALK by Jeffrey Zaslow

Plenty of parents know the feeling. You're heading out of town for business and, as you pack up and put on your suit, your forlorn toddler watches silently - saying nothing and everything.

"It's so hard," says rocker, Jon Bon Jovi, who recently got the sad-eyed treatment from his 2-year-old daughter, Stephanie. He was at his New Jersey home, trying on his "rock star" outfits before an overseas tour. These weren't pinstriped suits, but Stephanie knew he wasn't putting on play clothes. "She said, 'Daddy go bye-bye?' I thought, 'Oh man, she gets it. Daddy's leaving again.'"

Now that his band's new album, "These Days", is a monster hit, and he's starring in his first movie, "Moonlight and Valentino" (opening in theaters this week), Bon Jovi is one busy working father. And he has advice for all parents on the go: "Don't feel guilty."

In his case, "Daddy is the ringleader of a circus" - his five-man band and its 55 roadies. Bon Jovi, 33, believes kids needs to recognize that parents need to work. "Let the kids in on what you're doing. Don't keep it a secret. Help them understand when and why you're leaving. And then include them the best you can, however you can, as often as you can."

Bon Jovi's wife and high school sweetheart, Dorothea, ended up bringing Stephanie and her infant brother, Jesse James, on part of the tour. The singer says he focuses on the time he spends with his family, not the time away from them. You've got to cherish what's positive, he says. "Energy spent looking back on anything bad is wasted energy."

The key, he says, is to value what you have rather than wonder about what you've missed. For instance, some poeple have regrets when they stick with the girl they first fell in love with. Not Bon Jovi. "What did I miss? The running around? These days, you blow up when you have sex. So I never got to sleep with half the Hollywood starlets. I enjoy what I've got."

When you marry your high school sweetheart, "you share the same experiences. You have everything together. It's beyond words. I'd only wish that on everybody."

MORE ADVICE FROM BON JOVI:

* DO GOOD: "Each day ask yourself: Did I do something positive? Did I play with my kids today? Did I eat something good for me? Do something productive."

*HIT THE STREETS: "Two girls showed up at my house last winter. They were adamant that I listen to their music. They came in and weren't half bad. So I told them: Go to a New York street corner and play. You'll see what works, make some money, learn to entertain. They said: "We should have gone to see Axl Rose."

*TIPS FOR ASPIRING ROCKERS: "Dont' come to my house."

*KEEP QUIET: If you're from New Jersey, "let people make all those bad jokes about our state. Don't tell anybody how great it is here. It's the best kept secret."

*ADVICE TO ROCKERS WHO WANT TO BE MOVIE STARS: "Don't do it. Mind your own business. Then there will be more roles for me."

back to chat/article/interview archive index