Note to all users:

FOX's Gay X-Files will premiere immediately following a rerun of the longstanding classic

"Top Gun: Ice Man Style"

Synopsis:
A somewhat young and stupid man hangs on to the past for a few years too long and dreams of making love to a then-20 Val Kilmer. After naming his avatar after him, he proceeds to name his son 'Goose' and tries to kill him 'like in the movie.' The late Jerry Lee Lewis makes a cameo as Goose's piano instructor. The stars shine about as bright as my butthole in this drama of giant sunglasses and dumbasses. 1 star for a lackluster script, but a true, if worn, performance by Iceman as Ice Man. Bring your popcorn kiddies...and your Gameboy.