First of all, typing this down was kinda inspired by a fellow jovitalker. So, I know for sure that I'm not the only one seeing things this way. Feel free to disagree (oh I know u will)

here it goes...

Bon Jovi and ballads. I've been wondering how on earth BJ manages to turn every slow song into cheesy crap. Ok, few exeptions there, but let's say 9 outta 10 are pure cheesy crap. It's quite obvious that with ballads Jovi ain't aiming at making a musical difference, not musically or lyrically. Most if not all of their ballads are calculated to please them romantic minds of them girlies and bored housewives. Also, I guess there's a better chance in getting major airplay with cheesy shite than with a real rocker. Oh yeah, it's been a while since Jovi did come up with real rocker anyway.

here's few examples from my point of view:
Always. Ok it does sound promising from the start. But then comes Jon squeaking Aaaaaal---waaaays. uh. real downer. Plus played live it sucks even more. Good example on song that just don't work.

All about loving you. Absolutely worst song Jovi has ever released. Pure cheesy crap, with no musical or lyrical effort in it. It's like hey let's make a romantic song that sweeps everyone off their feet. yeah right. Would suit some damn 2-cent-boygroup a lot better than Jovi. cliche after cliche.

Bed of roses. most of all, annoying. Not their worst effort, but it doesn't pull through. cheesy all around, for me, it just doesn't hold it together all the way. As with most of their ballads, then try to make them sound "big" and that's the approach that just doesn't work for them. Another one filled with cliches.

Ok so soundwise. Those ballads all attempt to have this "big" sound in them. Swelling and swelling through the song. Well that just doesn't work for me. I find it annoying as hell. A good example on how I'd prefer their slower efforts to be is Right side of wrong. It's a lot more down to earth than these ridiculous larger than life ones they've cooked up with. Anyway, I guess u do get the point. Can't really say this any better, so sorry.

Lyrically then. Ballad needs to tell a story. But it for sure doesn't have to be about romantic cliche after another. I don't find any of them jovi ballads romantic, or even to slightest amount touching. Calculated. that's how I see them. Not a slightest bit of real emotion in them, I just smell "this makes cash" attitude.

Albums. From stadium rock to stadium pop. It's kinda same thing with every album, they start as straight-forward upbeat kick-a** albums. But they water it all down with lousy ballads. Just as they manage to create an image of rock band, they tear it apart with overdone crappy ballads. I would enjoy hearing them attempting a ballad with rougher, not so polished sound, and for gods sake lyrically something not so bed-of-always-about-you.

Gotta end this rant with saying that no I am not against slow songs in general. Only disliking that cheesy crap that's all around these days. I just hate it when so-called rock bands turn into backstreet boys. To make it clear, so what is a good ballad in my books? Go check out Freebird, that'll give you a clue.