Possible Tracklisting For New Album

Originally Posted by Wrath Mania

You guys got it all wrong. I actually met Jon while flirting with the cashier at Wawa last night (I pity any of you who don't know what a Wawa is.) He was kind of in a rush, but I got a quick interview with him about the whole album!:

1. Have A Nice Paint-By-Numbers Lost Title Track (Jon was quick to point out this was his favorite song that he and Richie ever wrote. "It speaks about where I'm at in my life right now, it's the best ripoff of our own material we've ever produced.")

2. My Guitar Lies Useless In My Arms (Not to be confused with the popular B-Side, My Guitarist Lies Useless In These Songs. Why did this make the record instead, Jon? "Well, you can actually hear Richie's guitar in the live mix, so I felt this song was more sincere," he explained.)

3. These Guys Are On Autopilot All Night ("We Finally nailed a variation of These Arms/All Night", Jon said proudly off this song, "I think it'll be fitting in a live setting.")

4. Joey II ("I know the fans were dying to hear the continuing adventures of Joey Keys. We even brought in Elton Jon, who of course worked with me on the Blaze of Glory record, to feature on this track.)

5. I Want It That Way (This track, featuring novel use of the talk box from Richie, is a fun rocker just like We Got It Going On. Sure, the lyrics are a tad silly, but it's fun! When I pointed out that this song, just like We Got It Going On, is the same name of a Backstreet Boys song, Jon was quick to say, "Yes, but we are a man's band, which brings us to..")

6. This Is A Love Song (This is a shocking retake on the These Days classic, complete with the same melody and structure ('so what? we did the same thing with Bells of Freedom'). Jon explains "we felt These Days was too dark, too depressing for the majority of our American fan base. So we rewrote this song to make it a predictable, sappy love ballad complete with a part specificaly designed for me to dance on stage. It's sure to get the ladies swooning!)

7. Any Other Day Redux ("A gift to the fans" Jon explained. This extended version of the original song includes an extended final chorus, as well as an epic, three-minute long Sambora jam at the end. I have listened to it, and I can tell you, it may be the best Bon Jovi song written since the 90s. Jon even does an epic scream towards the end after the refrain, and Richie's solo made me wet. "It's not my favorite," Jon forcefully points out, "But this shows I care about the fans input." When I asked Jon whether or not the band would perform this epic, sure-fire fan favorite live, he said with annoyance "Maybe now and then.")

8. Constipated (Oddly similar to the 2005 Classic, Complicated. "'I'm constipated/Can't Excrete It/This Song Is Shit, But We'll Still Play It)

9. Blame It On The Lack of Rock And Roll (The title pretty much summed it up for me.)

10. (Marketing Is Why) I (Pretend To) Love This Town/City/Military Base/Country ("A fun closer that we'll only play in towns we really, truly love", Jon said. "Expect it to be a mainstay in the set, especially when we hit Twickenham, Tokyo, Ontario, The Entire American Leg, and other places where we clearly didn't give a shit last tour!")

And so Jon left the Wawa with a soft pretzel, a pack of cigs, and Cranberry Juice (for Richie, he explained). A stunning meeting to be sure.