Aloha !

Like most people here, I've got several songs with memories attached to it. When people ask me what song has the most memories attached to it the one that always comes to mind is Whole Lot Of Leavin'.

In 2007, when I was quite burned out on Bon Jovi, the band released Lost Highway, an album I didn't really care for. My girlfriend back then was a lot less critical than I am and thought it was alright. It was a bit of weird time, she'd grown into my girlfriend while I was getting over another ex, and by the time it had grown into a more serious relationship her mom got cancer and she wasn't available much anymore because she needed to take care of her mother as her dad refused to get help from outsiders.

Back then you used to be able to have these lines under your nickname on MSN, and hers said "I close my eyes and picture your hand in mine". It sounds awful cheesy now, and maybe it is, but it was constant reminder for me that while I was giving support over the phone and chat she did appreciate it. After her moms death the relationship was over rather soon but for a long while I thought I'd always think of her when I'd hear the song. The band played it live in 2008 in Amsterdam and she was stood 3 feet behind me. We completely ignored eachother, but it felt like I could feel her think of me, if that makes any sense.

A few years later, I was in a long distance relationship with someone who had a, let's call it complicated, relationship with her parents. She and I got into a huge fight with her mom and dad and with every passing day I'd see her being more and more worn out by the situation. Meanwhile, these great Skypesessions we used to have had turned into conversations about "The fight". There was no way to avoid it really, whenever she'd show up at home her mom would make sure she'd be reminded of it in every single way. She wasn't doing very well and I remember getting up in the middle of the night for her just so I'd know she'd be in bed safe, until one day my shifts changed and the times we'd see eachother would become even more irregular. One day I got home after what was like a 14 hour shift, and I really needed my bed so I logged in with the intention just to say hello/goodnight, and then go straight to bed.

But she completely broke down. She kept talking about her family situation and how much she wanted out. There was pressure from school, pressure from work, pressure from her parents all while I was on the other side of the world. There wasn't much I could offer her, and I felt helpless. She kept saying how she'd never felt so alone with her parents completely dropping support in everything she believed in, and said it felt like everyone had left her. I think it was something like 11 P.M. by the time she was able to catch her breath a bit, and we talked about me coming over again. I remember grabbing my acoustic guitar, and turning down the lights in my living room. I played and sang Whole Lot Of Leavin' over Skype for her, which finally made her able to relax and that night, for the first time in I reckon over a month, I saw happy tears.

Never did I expect the lyrics to Whole Lot Of Leaving taking on a new meaning to me, and how certain lines would fit a completely different situation. It might've even been September when this was all happening, and she felt like everyone had left her but a guy from Holland. Although this sounds like I'm patting myself on the back, the only thing I really wished for was that her mom and dad would come to realize something similar soon as well, as opposed to trying, and eventually succeeding, to break us up, as I cared and loved this girl a lot more than I ever loved the other one. With their refusal to actually hearing what I had to say and assuming I was the worst thing that could happen to their daughter, they, to this day, have no idea how many times I have defended them to her and how many times I was actually there for their daughter when they weren't.

I never cared much for the song though, and I still don't. I think it's a good song, and I liked playing it, but as for in concert? Nah...It's fun to sing along to, and it's nice to play on guitar, but I don't think I'll ever be playing it on my acoustic again simply due to the bitter taste it's left me with. This reply was supposed to have a better ending, got carried away a bit. I usually don't really attach memories to Bon Jovi songs, but whenever this one comes up on iTunes I'm taken back to the time where I see one ex trying to make peace with her mom dying, and another ex having fun with me over the "You got it Jonny, you got it" moment when the song was played live, when just half a year later having the same song would cause such a bright moment in an otherwise tumulteous and disastrous time in both of our lives.

Salaam Aleikum,
Sebastiaan