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Old 12-15-2002, 09:16 PM
Sambora_Laura Sambora_Laura is offline
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Keep the Faith
 
Join Date: 15 Aug 2002
Location: Cardiff, South Wales, UK
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Default The Osbournes Vs. The Bongiovis

Quote:
WoW!

That would be fab- MTV cribs, a Bon Jovi Special!
After all, that's how the Osbournes began!

Who knows?
5 years down the line...
------------------------
6 months after MTV cribs Bon Jovi Special has been aired for the 10th time, and was a massive hit as usual...
scary voice over man:
"From the Makers of the Osbournes, MTV presents...THE BONGIOVI'S!"
------------------------

(Jon is sitting in Sanctuary 2, attempting to write the greatest song in the world)
Jon: woah...we're half way there...no, wait, that's been done...dammit!
*Stephanie walks in, wearing knee-high boots and fishnet tights, and with luminous green hair*
Stephanie; Daaaaaaaad, Jesse borrowed my Mascara again without asking, and now there's none left!
Jon: Steph, sweetie, I'm busy...
Stephanie: You're ALWAYS busy, you never f***ing listen to me any more!
Jon: It's not that I don't listen to you! Ive done 11 tours to go with 11 albums, all stood infront of about 6 million decibels of Richie's godawful playing! I'm listening, but i can't hear you! Just write me a bloody note!
(Steph writes him a note, telling him in so many words as to "Go away", and storms off)
Jon: I asked for that...
(Jesse runs into the room)
Jesse: DAD! DAD! Some aliens just landed and kidnapped Copper! Can I have the gun?
Jon: *sighs* No Jesse, you can't have the gun. And don't borrow your sister's mascara without asking!
Jesse: But everytime I ask she calls me a Jessy!
Jon: Well, in a way, that's true...
Jesse: Oh my ***king god, Dad! You're so ****king immature! I bet Ozzy isn't like this!
Jon: JESSE! That's E-f***ing-Nuff!!!!!!!!! I AM BUSY!
(Jesse storms off to look for some knives to play with. Jon gives up on writing, and walks up to the kitchen, where Richie is eating a sandwich)
Jon: Are you still here?
Richie: (through a mouthful of BLT) apparently so. You still writing crap?
Jone: Nope (opens the fridge to get a carton of Milk) Can't even write that anymore.
Richie: I knew passing up that Aerosmith gig was a mistake! Steven Tyler can at least write crap!
Jon: (can't find a glass, so he takes a swig out of the milk carton then puts it back) You write something then!
Richie: Whenever I do, you tell me it's crap!
Jon: Well let me see it again, because I ain't got any better ideas!
(Richie goes off to get his guitar and Jon sits at the piano, and begins to play)
Jon: (singing) Nothing lasts forever, and we both know hearts can change...and it's hard to hold a candle in the cold nov-
(Axl Rose jumps in through the window, along with Slash, who is playing a dramatic "Jumping through the window!" fiddly bit on his guitar")
Axl Rose: Sing that line and I'll sue the pink frills off your underwear, Mother******!!!!!!!!!
(Jon looks extremely depressed and exhasperated, and again tries to write something. Then Jake runs in with a knife)
Jake: Daddy! Daddy! Jesse got your gun and he chased Stephanie around the block with it!
Jon: Jake! I...am...BUSY!
(Richie comes back in with his guitar, and Jesse runs in with the gun. He trips on one of the leads from Richies guitar. The gun goes off and kills Axl Rose and Slash)
Jesse: Oops...
Jon: What did I tell you about the gun?!?!
Jesse: THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! If you hadn't let me run wild, he'd still be alive! You killed him!
Jon: DOROTHEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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The Osbournes, Bon Jovi style...
Next week- The Samboras!!!!!

Richie: HEATHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!

That little skit was inspired by the "Jon's House" Thread and the Osbournes. Wouldn't it be cool to have the Bongiovis? This thread is dedicated to any scenarios you can think up that might appear in the weird and wonderful world of the Bongiovis. Family reunions? Christmas Day? Birthdays? Family arguments? Band arguments? Or even new variations! The Bon Jovis (as in the band, not the family) The Samboras, The Obriens, The Bryans, The Torres's, The MacDonalds?!?!

Is Hugh the heir to the fast food empire? Is he related To Ronald MacDonald?!?!

Come on!
Let's see what you all can do!!!!
Love
Laura
________
EXTREME VAPORIZER

Last edited by Sambora_Laura; 02-27-2011 at 11:29 AM..
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