Aloha !

Although I opened my review about Dusseldorf about it being crap, and immediately said it wasn’t, this one simply was. This has been the most boring Bon Jovi show I’ve ever been to. Maybe even the most boring concert I’ve ever been to. Dusseldorf reminded me why I became a Bon Jovi fan, this one reminded me why I had started to become less a fan over the past few years.

The day started promising though. The rain stopped, we all got into the pit and didn't have to wait very long for the Dutch support act Bluebus. Screaming for Hardrock Halleluja after their second song got a lot of eyes on me from people who didn’t understand what I was on about but when they realized it was me, Supersonic, they gave me a thumbs up.

Nickelback was gay as ever. His guitar didn’t work during the second song, and Chad being the rock superstar he is threw it away after trying to get it to work. It was so professional. I think I’ve seen Slut Krüger doing the devil horns about 132 times this show, so he really is my hero right now. But then again, maybe not. I was glad when it was finally over.

The show started and Jon looked pumped and I took some nice pictures during Last Man Standing and because of the daylight I think my pictures look rather good.




Everything was nice and alright but it all started to diminish when Complicated began. The crowd was dead right from the start of it. 2 songs from Have A Nice Day in a row just doesn’t work. Right away people notice that the material isn’t strong enough to keep the show going and it reminds me of the 2001 show I attended when there were 4 Crush songs in a row. The same happened and the crowd fell asleep. But Jon being the stupid mother****er he is doesn’t learn anything from the past, and Complicated simply made the people fall asleep again. And because of Complicated being so boring, Story Of My Life not being a hitsingle either, I’d Die For You didn’t get the big response it got in Düsseldorf either. Simply because a hit was needed to get the crowd going again. But noooo, Jon thought it was smart to play so many songs after another that weren’t hits to get the crowd fall asleep. Radio woke it up a bit again though, but this was actually the first time I’ve seen people wake up during ****ing Everyday. I mean, a Bounce song to get the crowd going again? In These Arms was ****ing boring, way too slow and the only nice thing about it was that Jon actually used the entire catwalk for one more time. I don’t get it anyway. He’s got that big catwalk to use, but he’s only using it for 2 or 3 songs. What’s the point in having a catwalk? And although In These Arms got the crowd going for a bit again, the always cringing lyrics of Welcome To Wherever You Are made us fall asleep again. God makes no mistakes? Then what are you, Jon?

Have A Nice Day was the first song on which I though “yeah, maybe the show will start to rock by now, but the thought that we’d get Who Says, and It’s My Life right after another by that time, got me tired again. Sure, it must’ve been a surprise for most people over there, but I simply couldn’t enjoy the it’s alright it’s alright it’s alright it’s alright it’s alright it’s alright’s again. And It’s My Life again was so slow again. And I don’t get it anyway. They’re able to mix up the most stuff from the first part of the show, but do they really have to play those3 songs in the same order over and over again? Introducing Who Says You Can’t Go Home the same way Jon did, but half a minute before it was nice, and after I imitated the talkbox of It’s My Life before It’s My Life actually started got people annoyed because of me spoiling the “Surprise” for them. If you can call playing one of your biggest hits a surprise, that is. They didn’t have to be afraid of there not being any surprises though, because there they were. The biggest surprises of the evening. The This Left Feels Right shite.

I started to think that this was an American show, and right away understood why Ponrauil and Spunky didn’t like the shows they attended. Ofcourse rainsong, bjcpacracypackageblabla thinks differently, but they’re backstagers and you know what I said earlier about them.

Anyway, the “acoustic” version of I’ll Be There For You made the Bon Jovi gig look like a ****ing teaparty. What a disappointment that was over the electric version of it earlier in Europe. It wasn’t even a song to have sex on or something like that. I was planning to screw all the chicks in the pit, but this song simply wasn’t worth it. Becky can say whatever the **** she wants to say about this going over better to crowds. It doesn’t. At least, not over here. I’d rather hear Richie sing the original song (and with me about 40.000 other people as well) than the simply dreadful version of TLFR. Jon sucks on it, with his low voice, and **** of with your arguments about “I’d rather hear him sing low and in the right key than the screams blabla” because you’re at a ****ing rock concert. If you start to make remarks like that, you obviously haven’t got a clue of what you’re talking about and you should simply leave planet earth. Or at least stop caring about rock music and go on about Keith Urban on a Keith Urban messageboard. But to make things even worse, the “acoustic” version of Bed Of Roses came along. You could hear people talking about everything. Doing the laundry, reminding of what things they needed to buy at the grocery store, talking about what they would have for dinner the next day, what the weather was like and I don’t think anybody cared about this stuff.

Another thing that annoyed me was that ****ed Up Fleur (FUF) and that crazy Motherwitch Inge were on stage. And again FUF was there with her flower all waving and going crazy and stuff. Can’t that motherwitch see that letting FUF carrying a flower everywhere has all the elements of being a stalker instead of being a fan? And to make it even worse, the motherwitch came back onstage for the second time. I thought that the stage in daylight was the ugliest thing I had seen that day, but the motherwitch was even worse. And I have no intention of visiting another Bon Jovi show again, so I can say whatever the **** I want about them. ****ing ****ed up mother****ers.

So. by now, I decided that Mark Knopfler was more exciting to watch. Yes, that guy who can play the guitar like a mother****er but actually moves as much as a statue. That guy was more entertaining to watch than a Bon Jovi show. All I could ever think of how much I wanted to let someone know that I did not enjoy myself while that person could send me text messages like “told you” and stuff like that. Even that would’ve been more enjoyable. Or trying to make the biggest rollercoaster in Rollercoaster Tycoon. Or just simply being at work and making krentenbollen and eierkoeken would’ve been more fun.



Gloria, that was the first surprise for me. Finally something special, and the dancing in the pit was big fun simple because I was dancing with the best looking girl in the pit. Yes you’ve got that right, I was dancing with the best looking girl. Sorry Thierry, sorry Alja. Raise Your Hands was alright just like Prayer was. The encore opened, blabla, more hits, oh yeah another Bells Of Freedom making it 8(!) songs from the new album which is way to many, more hits, blabla Wanted blabla oh yeah they’re coming back oooh what a surprise oooh blabla more hits blabla ah finally Keep The Faith. And the worst version of it either. No Sympathy For The Devil, no Jungle screams, and when it was over it was like a “be careful getting out of here, bye, we cashed in very good and were gone for good."

This show could have been so much better. Jon’s enthusiasm wasn’t as great as in Düsseldorf, but his vocals were better. With no TLFR set, less HAND songs and a few surprises this show would’ve been great. With Dry County and Garageland added to the set I thought Bon Jovi finally had any idea of what the fans in Europe wanted. I’ve seen replies like “they can’t play Dry County every night because it’s 10 minutes blahblah”. They did it in 1993, they did in 1995, so they should be capable of doing the same right now. The same for singing more rare songs. And the weaker their new material will get, the more people will want the rare stuff from the past.

Seeing all my “enemies” from the Dutch board was nice again, all pointing at me, and the next day someone made a topic over there like “Who have you seen from this board?” and all the people who pointed their fingers at me all of a sudden had not seen me. Not that I cared, but again it proves how ****ing pathetic a lot of Bon Jovi fans are. And how ugly they are. They’re supposed to be chicks, but most of them in fact just are ugly, washed up, alcoholic bitches who’ve had way too many penises in their mouth.

But Bon Jovi sucked. Americans suck for standing there at a Bon Jovi gig while appreciating something like this, backstagers suck like they always do, and further on you all suck for letting the backstagers get over here and spoiling this place with stupid topics while I’ve been away. Well, most of you suck. Only a few of you don’t. And I hope you still know who you are. Take care.

Salaam Aleikum,
Sebastiaan