“It's written in the scars where I fit in
It's going to hurt sometimes, you’ve got to lose to win…”

This time there will be no story about meeting Obie. No story about hand written letter to Jon either. But this trip was far more important for me and the most personal out of all my previous BJ trips. Far more emotional. Without a doubt this was one of the hardest fights I had to go through in my life, mentally not physically. Everything on the way seemed to show it won’t work, but I didn’t want to let that thought come to and through me. Positive thinking kept me alive and kept moving forward. The reward was huge like never before, but the sacrifice was the hardest too…This is the story of my life.

As some of you know, last year I have seen the band 3 times. Paris and last 2 shows at the O2. All of them were amazing. I got LIR in Paris and my fav ballad BOR for the first time ever. Then spontaneously I bought tickets to London one week before the shows, that turned out to be the best shows of them all. HT by Richie, Santa Fe! Hallelujah, Bullet, IHLYG and TD played in the very last moments of the residency, when I thought the hope is gone. Amazing memories. But still, one piece was missing all the time – Dry County. Song I wanted to hear the most. And never got that on any of my 4 shows. Along with KTF and TD, DC forms my absolutely untouchable TOP3 of BJ songs. And no matter how great all those shows were, without it my dream was not completed. So I was anxiously awaiting European leg of the tour in 2011 to finally get it, no matter the cost and circumstances. And as it turned out, money was not the issue this time, but other things were, those that were the most important for me personally.

When they announced the dates, I knew already that I have to look for greatest cities to get it. Munich, Frankfurt, London, Amsterdam, Barcelona or Dublin. Based on the set lists from LH tour, those were the cities that would probably give me the biggest chance of getting it. My first thoughts were for Munich, but quickly that option was out of question. My wife’s sister announced she’s getting married on the weekend of that show and my dream of seeing them at Olympic stadium was gone in seconds. Shit happens. And when they announced FC trip in Dublin I knew that was the city I have to go to. So far on all the FC trips they always played DC, so I concentrated all my thoughts on it. But there was one problem. Destination. Dublin – my cursed city of the past. Without getting into small details I will have to explain why I hated this town so much.

I spent two summer vacations over there, 2004 and 2005. Together almost 6 months of my life spent on Green Island. I was there with my ex-girlfriend. We decided to go there to earn good money and possibly stay there longer than only for the summer. I always thought that I will leave Poland permanently and will spent rest of life abroad, because economically Poland is extremely weak, while Western Europe was a synonym of luxury. And at the beginning it all was going in the right direction. We both found a really well paid job, where for example in one day we could earn as much as we could earn in Poland in one month. Literally. Promise land you might say. But the devil was hidden in the details. I didn’t feel good over there. In general people were great and really nice but still I felt like a total stranger over there. Moreover at work I felt like a slave, like a person of second category. And there were some people trying to make me feel like that. I was giving all my best at work and worked my ass off while at the same time I saw people doing nothing, even though we both had same job to do. They were Irish and no one told them to go back to work, but we “people from Eastern Europe” didn’t have that privilege. Of course not everybody was like that, and in general Irish people are great and very friendly, but there were a couple of people that made me feel like shit more and more with each day. Just because I wanted to get as much money as possible for my life of a student when I am back in Poland, I tried to avoid confrontation with them and somehow managed to get to the end of the summer. I earned lots of money (for Polish standards) and went back to Poland to finish my studies, because I only had one year left to graduate. But still those problems stayed in my mind. Apart from those problems, when I was there I was missing my family and friends very much and I knew after 3 months that life abroad is probably not a good option for me. Still, after I finished my university, my ex-girlfriend pushed me to go back to Dublin again. I was against it and I wanted to find a good job in Poland. But of course as “love is blind” I agreed and we went back to Dublin again in 2005. This time it was much harder to find a summer job. Finally I found a job in a warehouse while my girlfriend started working at the office of a big company. To shorten this whole part, eventually our paths started to go in the other directions and we couldn’t get along with each other very well. Eventually she dumped me and finished a 4-year relationship over there. I was devastated and at that point I felt that my life broke down to pieces. 3 weeks later she decided to go back to me, we even got engaged (again “love” is blind) in Dublin but one month after this she said again she doesn’t love me anymore and returned me the engagement ring. I felt like total shit. I lost what I thought was the love of my life back then. I lost faith in everything, literally everything. Definitely in love. And all of that happened in Dublin. Everything I loved the most (or what I should say I thought was “love”) was taken away from me in Dublin. And I hated that city for that. With passion.

But at the end of that summer HAND came out, that featured a song that pulled me out of the bottom of my depression. That was “Welcome To Wherever You Are”. Once again, BJ found a way to lift me up and be the soundtrack to my life, exactly when I needed it the most. It took me about one year to stand back on my feet again, but I made it. And then in November of 2006 I met my wife. She was the first girl that found the key to re-open my heart for love again. I don’t know how she did that but the more I think of it, the more I realize we were simply destined to be with each other. We met on the internet on one of the dating websites (I wouldn’t believe it too, I know), after 3 dates she went to UK to get a job, after 5 months she came back just for me, a month after her return she moved in to me, and in 2008 we got married and in 2009 our beautiful daughter was born. A story straight out of Hollywood script. As my wife loves music (she’s a singer that has the most beautiful voice I have ever heard) she went with me to all my BJ shows, including the first one in Bristol in 2008. Two weeks after the show I proposed to her and two months later we got married. Like never before I was so sure this is the right woman for me. We are like soul mates. We understand each other without words. And out of that love, our lovely daughter – Natalie showed up on this world.
Yes, the day Natalie was born my whole life has changed permanently. Those of you who are parents will know what I mean. I loved kids all my life and always wanted to have kids of my own. Her every smile makes me the happiest man alive, I know that everything I do now, I do for her. And nothing would stand between me and her. Never. But probably you’ve heard the saying “never say never”, huh? And as it turned out, just to try to make my dreams come true, I had to make one of the hardest decision as a parent. Well, to say it shortly. Natalie was born on 30th June 2009. So she has just turned 2 years old on Thursday. Right, Thursday 30th, which means the date of the second BJ show in Dublin. I don’t know how important your birthdays are for you, but for me mine was always one of the most important days of the year and I always had a family party to celebrate it. My daughter’s birthday is as important for me as mine or even more. And as it turned out eventually I was forced to choose between her and BJ shows, which was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make. The thing is at the beginning it didn’t look that bad at all. When they announced the first date it was the 29th, but there was already info on their website about FC trip from 27-30.06 with 2 shows included, which suggested that the second one would be on 28th June. That would mean that I could go to both shows easily and get back on time for Natalie’s birthday. So without doubts I bought 2 tickets to the show on 29th for me and my wife, waiting patiently for official announcement of the date of the second show. And you can only imagine how surprised and sad I was when they changed the FC trip dates and changed the second show from 28th to 30th, so exactly on Natalie’s birthday. “Why?” I asked myself. Why do I have to choose between her and BJ? But still FC trip shows meant that I double my chances of getting DC on one of them. What if I go only to 29th and they play it on 30th? I felt I couldn’t take that risk and I needed to go to both shows, but still it meant that I won’t be with Natalie on her birthday. What kind of a father chooses his dreams above his daughter? My logic said – “she’ll be fine, she’s too young, she won’t even notice we are not there”. But my heart told me “don’t do it, she’s the most important thing in the world for you, even BJ can’t beat her”. But there was also the third voice of my soul, that said “You’ve got to hear DC. That’s your biggest dream since you were a little boy”. Shit. Believe me, I did not sleep well that night while I was making that decision.