And to make it even worse, my wife told me, that if it’s on Natalie’s birthday she will not go for sure. And I couldn’t blame her for that. I didn’t have any good reasons for her to go with me. Sure she loves BJ, but she’s not such a psycho like me that wants to go just to get one song. The one I did not get in 4 previous shows so there’s no guarantee I will get that in the next 1 or 2. But the thing is she was with me on all my previous BJ shows. Maybe I am old fashioned, I don’t know, but all my dreams taste best when I can share them with the people I love. First show ever without her would not taste the same. BOR in Paris without her would not taste the same. The joy of getting TD at the O2 would be the same without my wife right next to me too. So if I get DC in Dublin, it would mean I would have it on my own only. The loss was doubled. Missing Natalie’s birthday and missing my wife right next to me…At the end, only one decision could be made, and each one of them was the wrong one. Either leaving your dreams undone or leave your loved ones. And although my heart was broken, my soul won the fight. I bought another 2 tickets for the show on 30th, just in case my wife changes her mind. I tried to make her change her mind for months but it didn’t work. I even asked few people over here on JT, from Poland, if they want to join me for the shows, but none of them could afford the trip unfortunately. So there I was, with 4 tickets and only one person excited to go – myself.
And then, few months later a ray of light showed up on the horizon. My wife started to whisper about changing her mind and maybe going with me. And there was only one reason for that – “because I love you and I want to be with you, because it means so much for you” – that’s what she said. I really don’t need to comment that. She’s my angel and I have no idea what I have done in my life that I deserved to be with her, but I treasure her like nothing else in the world. Her and our little Natalie. And just when this horror seemed to be coming to an end, the announcement was made…

Richie…out for a rehab. That news struck me on my 31st birthday, 28th April. Can you believe it? Coincidence? Was it a punishment from up above for my decision of leaving Natalie on her birthday? That was the worst birthday present I have ever received. Without Richie, DC means nothing. For me this song is his work of art. Sure, Jon’s vocals are great in it, lyrics are perfect, but still for me it is his guitars and most importantly his main solo in it that makes it a masterpiece. I have said it here several times, this song is the definition of BJ for me. It was the reason I learned to play guitar, even though I never managed to nail that solo. That solo will always be the synonym of perfection I will never reach. That one song was the main reason I chose to go to Dublin. But without Richie it would be worthless. Quickly it turned out that they found Phil for replacement, but after his first shot at DC I knew what I will do if Richie’s not back. The answer was very simple and I have made it loud and clear over here in one of my posts. If Richie’s not there for Europe, I won’t go to Dublin too, even if I don’t find a person who would buy the tickets from me, which would mean I would lose loads of money (4 GC tickets + flights one way). With DC on the line I was ready to sacrifice my daughter’s birthday, but with probable DC with Phil I just knew it’s totally not worth it. That first ever DC in my life has to be done the right way. Phil was a great guy, really, but he was a no-match against my daughter.

So as the weeks went by, there was only one thing I could do - pray for Richie’s health. And I did that every single day. As always, in the most trying times of my life, there was only one song that kept my hopes alive – KTF. And it carried me now more than ever. That’s the only reason why it’s still my #1 and is just slightly higher in the ranking than DC. Positive message that became the motto of my life. “Don’t you know it’s never too late….” – that’s what I kept telling myself all the time. But even though I didn’t want to let that thought of missing Richie in my mind, I still did not buy my flights back to Poland yet. I waited for official confirmation that he’ll be back. And finally, I think it was Monday 6th June, I found a video over here of Richie himself at the airport telling he’s on his way to Europe. That was more than official for me and finally I could buy my return flights and look up in the sky with a big “Thank You” and a smile on my face again. At least now I can give it try. There was no guarantee I will get DC, but at least Richie was back. And that’s all I needed.

So just about 3 weeks before the trip, everything seemed to be back to normal. Richie’s back, my wife’s going with me and the only thing I had to deal with myself was Natalie’s birthday and my demons of the past, that were waiting for me in Dublin. But this time, I was well prepared to kick their asses. Not only mentally, but also with my best guardian on my side – my wife. She was the only person that could help me break that curse of Dublin. I was heading to Ireland with the thought of replacing all bad memories and tears of sadness into happy memories and tears of joy.

There was only one hard moment on the way - the day of departure and leaving our daughter for few days. To make our parting as short as possible, we were leaving on Tuesday afternoon from our home city, but our return flights were not heading home directly. We could go back home on Saturday evening, but there was a flight to other Polish city on Friday, about 180km away from our town. But that one day was like eternity for us. It not only enabled us to be with our daughter one day earlier, but also give us enough time to prepare her birthday party on Sunday, the one that should have been on Thursday.
But still that was the hardest moment of the trip for me. I had to look straight into my daughters beautiful brown eyes and kiss her goodbye. When the moment came, I couldn’t stop myself from crying. I am a typical family guy. I hate goodbyes. I always get emotional. I hate to leave people I love. You know, we left our daughter one year ago too, for the trip to O2 for 2 days, but she was only 1 year old back then. She could not communicate the way she does now. Every day when I come back from work in the evening, she runs toward me screaming “Daddyyyyyy” (in Polish “Tataaaaaa”) and hugs me as hard as she can. And you can easily see when she’s sad. She’s still a baby but can show her emotions very well. And on that day, she felt something was wrong and she was sad all day. When the moment of departure came, she started crying and I couldn’t stop crying too. My wife handled it much better than me. All I could think of was “It’s hard letting you go”. Strangely enough, the band played it the day before in Bristol. And no other song could describe better my feelings at that moment. I knew that I left my heart at home with her, but my soul kept pushing me toward my dream, and no force was able to stop it, not even me…

And so we reached Dublin. We were staying in my friend’s house, right next to Phoenix Park. We rented a car for 3 days to make all of the transport easier for us, and my friend was our private driver. He was taking us to RDS for the shows and was picking us after the shows too. Moreover on Wednesday morning we also went to Howth to have a walk there and took some great photos. I felt already that everything is going the right way. But I was extremely nervous on that day, because of the show. I could barely eat anything for dinner. The mental stress was just huge. I’ve done everything I could but the rest was totally out of my control. I knew that if they won’t play DC on Wednesday, I might not survive the show on Thursday waiting until the encore. Moreover Thursday was Natalie’s birthday so it would be hard enough for me anyway. And what if they won’t play DC at all? All that sacrifice would go for nothing. But still I had to stand face to face with that stress and those demons of the past in me. We left home at about 5pm and after getting through the traffic we reached RDS just before 6pm.

We had tickets in GC and we found a great spot, just about 3 m from the catwalk. I couldn’t believe it. I have never been so close to the band before, so I hoped they all walk out on the circle during the shows. By the way, there was only one GC in Dublin, unlike Munich for example. It was raining most of the afternoon in Dublin and it was cloudy in the evening. Those dark clouds were flying above our heads in RDS and light showers showed up during the support bands. I was prepared for this and we had poncho’s so we put them on in case it started to rain during the show. But surprisingly, right before the start of the show, the sun came out and all the dark clouds disappeared. It was unbelievable. I thought it was the first sign Heavens are on our side, giving me that rays of hope. And it all started under this great scenario in full sunlight, with RYH as an opener.