Not directed at anyone; just something I've been thinking about
This is not directed at anyone in particular; but a recent post on another site clarified some things that have troubled me since this whole mess began. I wrote this in response to that post, but I thought it might apply here as well. It may sound like a broken record in the beginning, but bear with me. I discovered some new insights over the weekend.
Richie has indicated that he has personal reasons for being off tour. If someone doesn’t believe Richie, then consider that Jon knows what those reasons are and has repeatedly said Richie is welcome to return when the issue is resolved.
Knowing Jon has led Bon Jovi to phenomenal success, one can assume he has enough business sense and good judgment to discern if an employee he has also called his best friend for 30 years is taking advantage of a situation and to act accordingly. Jon has acknowledged that Richie’s reasons are important enough to justify his absence, so why can’t the fans?
Richie has tweeted that it’s a private matter, he loves his fans and the band, there’s too much to say for him to say anything, and he can’t say anything more until the issue is resolved. I don’t read anything there that sounds disrespectful or indicates Richie doesn’t care. Quite honestly, I can’t find with fault him for not tweeting lately given the attacks that have been made and the way everyone jumped on every word, taking them out of context and using them to further shred him. Some have suggested that he should explain or “stay the f**k off Twitter.” Since Richie apparently doesn’t feel that he’s currently in a position to explain, maybe he chose the latter.
I personally don’t think Richie looks happy in the pictures or keeks that others post, anymore than I think Jon looks happy on stage. I think they both look like they’re going about the business of living, in the best way they can, while waiting (perhaps working behind the scenes) to resolve whatever situation has Richie sitting this one out.
I have a job that I enjoy very much; but if something doesn’t go well at work, it doesn’t necessarily mean that I can’t enjoy hanging with friends or reading a book. I have a passion for music, but if I can’t play my guitar or sign in to Rhapsody, it doesn’t mean I can’t still enjoy a drive through the mountains. Why, then, is it so difficult to believe that Richie’s reasons for not being on tour may be important, yet not affect EVERY area of his life, and he can still enjoy the unaffected areas like being with his daughter, petting a puppy, or pursuing other interests? Is it also beyond the realm of possibility to think his reasons might, on the other hand, also have direct bearing on his promotion of AOTL, including the video contest, since those activities fall within his role as a professional musician?
I think that between them, Jon and Richie have covered all the bases. So what is it with the name-calling, malicious humor, and judgmental attitudes? To be honest, I had a very bad night Saturday after reading posts here and on other sites, completely torn up over all the bashing that’s going on, and thinking about the negative impact it could possibly have on everyone involved. It seems to have gone well beyond disappointment into bitterness for many of the fans who post.
I haven’t been able to watch WDOA since this clusterf**k started, but I decided to suck it up and watch the “Jon Bon Marco” video because I can’t resist kids in action. Jon and the kid were cute, even though it was clear in the beginning that Jon was playing to the crowd, like shaking his finger each time the youngster reached for the mic. But when the kid held up the mic for the crowd to sing “Wanted” and Jon just lost it, I cracked up. It seemed that Jon’s stunned delight at the kid pulling such a Jon/Richie move momentarily wiped all the nastiness of the situation from his mind, as it did from mine. For those few moments, Jon seemed to truly enjoy being on stage, which is something I haven’t seen often, from him or Richie, since Bamboozle, and maybe even before that. Thinking about it later, I realized that while I have (truthfully) said all along that I believe this whole thing must be hard for both of them, I have been gutted on Richie’s behalf; but Jon’s pain had never really hit me viscerally until that moment.
Can someone please help me understand why people are so angry with Jon, Richie, and/or each other and what possible legitimate reason there is for thinking we have a right to expect more information than what has already been given? Can someone also explain why some seem to think that, even without knowing the details, they have the need (or the right) to pass judgment on Jon or Richie to the extent that they claim to have lost all respect for one or both of these gifted men they previously admired and respected? And while on the subject, why is it that people feel justified in hurling unfounded accusations or insults at each other over differences of opinions regarding this situation?
Despite the feelings of anonymity and distance the internet provides, words can be powerful tools – or lethal weapons. None of the people involved in this situation are imaginary one-dimensional paper cutouts. Jon, Richie, Phil X, Dave, Tico, Hugh, Matt, and the fans that haunt this board or others like it looking for updates, are 3D real live people with real live feelings. Whether they are celebrities or just usernames with forum profiles doesn’t change how our words may affect them. Sometimes, like Saturday night when I found myself composing my own vitriolic responses, I shudder to think how our hateful words (that we might never say face-to-face) have the potential to cause irreparable damage. This is especially true given the fact that we often don’t know the people we respond or refer to in our posts. We can’t know what we may be triggering with our unkind words. For myself, I think it’s time to dial it back a notch, if for no other reason than life is too short for that kind of responsibility.
All that being said, please consider this my apology to anyone I’ve hurt or offended by something I’ve said to them or in reference to someone they care about. It was never my intention; but I realize now that even good intentions won’t negate the hurt we sometimes cause others.
|