No Richie on current leg of the tour

Sniff.

I know they know they've had some good times, Now they have their own hiding place..

Did Jon miss Richie's birthday? I wish I'd seen him blow those candles out



Andi

Jon should call Richie and ask him: "You want to make a memory? You want to steal a piece of time? You can sing a melody to me. I'll write a couple lines".
lol

Hot stuff!

Richie would cream himself. Refer to my signature below for an accurate description.


Andi

Aloha !

Richie "I'd like to do it doggy style but I miss the pussy"

One might think the rhythm guitarist is referring to the groupie life which many rock star is associated with, but it couldn't be further from the truth. In short, the guitarist is missing his cat.

"I took that little baby everywhere I could. Sure, I hid it because Jon's allergic to cats and it hurts his vocal chords, but every time I was by myself I wound up playing with my pussy."

As to how the former drunk lost his cat is still unknown, and the ex alcoholic doesn't want to go into full detail. Just know that those cuties aren't exactly tourbus proof.

"If Jon would just let me travel with it on board of the plane instead of needing to put it on a seperate tourbus none of it would've happened. Now she escaped and with the amount of snow out there in Canada it's hard to manouvre a bus to a slippery parking lot."

"When I got the news I called Jon at 3.30 and told him I'd not be coming over. I was heartbroken. So heartbroken that I flew right to Hawaii to hang out with my daughter."

The former husband of Golden Raspberry award winner Heather Locklear insists fans of Bon Jovi have got nothing to worry about. "Jon hasn't given me much space to show my skills lately anyay, I'm sure Bobby or whoever he'll hire will be able to cover up for me."

It's still unclear as to whether the cat will be buried or cremated, though maybe frozen in is an option? "I don't know man, I'm waiting for it to arrive to see what I'll do with its coffin. All I know is I can't bear to stand next to Jon, let alone another bandmember who'll treat me like a dog."

One fans can be assured of, now with this cat dead the only sound of a strangling cat is the one of Jon Bon Jovi singing whenever Richie isn't able to cover up for him.

Source: My right thumb.

Salaam Aleikum,
Sebastiaan

^^ If you had included Richie mentioning 52 countries, 146 shows etc, some people on here would have actually accepted that interview as genuine.

You should send that to tmz.com, they'd probably actually run the story! The headline would be epic.

Andi

Aloha !

Haha, that's not a bad idea. I'll get on it. Great idea.

Salaam Aleikum,
Sebastiaan

Hmmm...So, the picture of Jon, Dave and Tico was just removed from the band's Facebook page and replaced with a concert picture of Jon (as yours truly had suggested they do a few posts ago).

Maybe the powers-that-be on Facebook are reading this thread xD.

People SERIOUSLY think that Richie was edited out of that picture?

Of course, as they seriously think that Hugh killed Richie's dog.

Can't believe that they deleted the photo! I liked it. I'd rather have a picture of 3 members of the band than another of only Jon.