THIS is how you write a review

I've read The Guardian since I was a nipper but I've always thought Alex Petridis was a smug prick. This condescending review is no exception.

Yep. Love The Guardian but some of their writers are snooty twats.

Hmmm....I think this review is published each time Bon Jovi is on tour. The names of the songs might change, but the key-words are always the same. Not that I disagree much with it, it's just that it's so easy to pick on Bon Jovi that it'd be stupid to do anything else. Not to mention that if the concert was any similar to the one yesterday, they wouldn't deserve anything else.

Ah well. I am tired and become repetitive. Taking it back!

This Guardian review is just like his others and he is desperate to build a name for himself. The guy probably liked Bon Jovi before he developed an over-sensitive cool gland and decided that trying hard to make it look like you're not trying hard is the way forward. I posted the following on his comment section as a reply...


I wear a cardigan, I like bands none of you have heard of like Itching Belltower and The Discovery of Chocolate. Next year, I will have forgotten these bands and I will be following other, newer bands who don't write lyrics you can understand but that's okay because I will pretend to understand them or you might think I am out of touch. I will be doing this while professing I am not a follower, I am an individual and I hate mainstream and I chuckle behind my hand at any music that has general appeal to the masses because I wasn't cool in school, I wasn't allowed to be part of the mainstream; but I can be cool now; the only difference is now people listen to what I have to say because I get paid to throw rocks at the big machine while crying to the emotive harpsichord solo in Discovery of Chocolate's latest single Beautiful Puke.

Will my words still be heard in 30 years time? Will 200,000 people turn up from all over the world to listen to me? No. But then I wouldn't want them to because I am cool, so I do this for art and I would actually prefer no one ever reads anything I do because I don't do it for other people, I do it because I have to have a creative release... y'know, like that dozy bint from Twilight.

I know that having a cheap pop at Bon Jovi is like seeing the popular kid in school 20 years later and consolling yourself with the fact that he got fat... Bon Jovi have sold north of 120mil albums which is even more than Coldplay (who I liked when Jo Whiley and John Peel liked them but I have since removed them from my iPOD). You cannot be sincere having sold that many albums unless you're Kurt Cobain, who really meant it when he sang 'An albino and a rhino.'

One day, perhaps I will realise that journalism is about being in the privileged position of standing on the outside of something special and being able to tell people about what you see. The key to doing it well is in being able to drop a funny or two and still not alienate people. But I doubt it... Got to go, apparently cardigans are out of fashion, I need to get to a second hand store before all the tank tops go...

I was wondering who had written that as i was going through the comments,Brilliantly done.

i agree becky that was a well written retort - hmmmmmm

Very well done!

That's funny.