I have no idea really and actually have been trying to figure that out myself.

There has never been a person in my life that I particularly looked up to or that I felt influenced by. Well, at least not real people. Certainly, there are historic figures I have admiration and respect for, but they couldn't influence me as our lives never collided.

All of my desires/hopes/ambitions (constructive and destructive) have always come out of myself - a deeply hidden well of 'the force' (lol) it seems. Perhaps it's an anti-fight that kept me on course. I hated my childhood soooooo much that the incapacitating fear of being in the same position ever again, kept me moving along even though everything in life was trying to hold me back.

Long story, short answer: my greatest influence in life is my grave fear of being someone or being in a position I have not the least bit of respect for.


Hate and fear are more powerful than love ..... don't you think?