13 Differences between Women and Men !!!!

1. NAMES:

If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will
call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.

If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer
to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.


2. EATING OUT:

When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in
a $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have
anything smaller and none will actually admit they want the change back.

When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.


3. MONEY:

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on
sale.


4. BATHROOMS:

A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream,
razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is
337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.


5. ARGUMENTS:

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


6. CATS:

Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.


7. FUTURE:

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.


8. SUCCESS:

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


9. MARRIAGE:

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.


10. DRESSING UP:

A woman will dress up to go 4 shopping, to water the plants, empty the
garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and read the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.


11. NATURAL:

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


12. OFFSPRING:

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods,
secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.


13. FINAL THOUGHT:

Any married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Amazing how we're about all the same...

"Living as couple comes down to trying to solve problems you'd never have if you were single".

Good funny post Allwyn.

Ponrauil

Oddly enough, very little of this applies to me. Am I not a real man?

1. NAMES: I'll refer to people by their name
2. EATING OUT: I'll offer to help pay for it, and if I pay for all of it, I'll take the change back.
3. MONEY: I prefer to buy stuff, even stuff I need, only when it's on sale.
4. BATHROOMS: Doesn't apply to me.
5. ARGUMENTS: I'm pretty good at winning them in real life.
6. CATS: I like cats. I'm starting to not like dogs though, only because their owners don't chain them and they chase me.
7. FUTURE: I worry about the future all the time.
8. SUCCESS: I don't know how I'd define success for myself.
9. MARRIAGE: Doesn't apply to me.
10. DRESSING UP: Funerals, weddings, work, otherwise, I don't dress up. Maybe I'll throw on a button-up shirt if I'm going somewhere where I might run into someone I want to make a good impression on.
11. NATURAL: I look like I fell asleep in a tree in a windstorm when I wake up.
12. OFFSPRING: Doesn't apply to me and hopefully never will.
13. FINAL THOUGHT: I think I can agree with this.

Adrian

Nope, not until you've lived with a woman.

Ice

oh crap!!

Women are not real women till they've had a man? *gag me* I am more woman than my constantly 'involved in bad relationships' girlfriend.!

there!

Adrian, be proud not to fit those stupid stereotypes - they aren't funny either.

Well I guess I'm not a real woman either - and I've lived with a man longer than I should admit to.

1. NAMES: I call people whatever they tell me they want to be called
2. EATING OUT: The calculator bit drives me nuts - divide the total by the number of people and deal with it.
3. MONEY: Having grown up relatively poor - I like sales but only if I need something
4. BATHROOMS: I don't think I could identify 337 female items in a bathroom - let alone fit them in my bathroom.
5. ARGUMENTS: Bullsh!t
6. CATS: I love cats but I never had a cat until after I met my husband. He had always had a cat and now so do we.
7. FUTURE: Everybody worries about the future.
8. SUCCESS: I don't spend my husbands money exclusively - for years I actually made more money than he did.
9. MARRIAGE: Everyone goes into marriage with expectation that don't get met.
10. DRESSING UP: I have a hard time "dressing up" (as defined for a woman) even for weddings and funerals. I'm an engineer - I live in jeans and kahkis - some more dressy than others.
11. NATURAL: If you don't wear a ton of make up - you look the same at any time except for having to comb your hair.
12. OFFSPRING: Nah - a good father knows his kids - maybe not every detail (but I don't know every detail either thank god)
13. FINAL THOUGHT: Both genders can be picky about remembering mistakes. Keep in mind that you won't remember somones every failing if you didn't care about them in the first place.

Kathleen

AMEN, Sister! There are worse things than not having a man--like having one that isn't worth a damn.

Geez, lighten up here. It was supposed to be just a funny post.

but it's not funny.

I don't find anything funny about putting someone down based on stereotypes - males or females.

:P

14. HUMOR

Men (and Alex) understand and appreciate jokes about the opposite sexe and themselves for what they are : jokes.
Women (except Alex), unless the joke is on men only, take things personnal and seriously.

Ponrauil