To the blue states who want to seccede. Fine. Let's split this thing up half and half, North and South. We get all the conservatives, you get all the liberals. You also get all the RINO's: Republicans In Name Only, who somehow keep getting elected with Rs next to their name, but act like they want to turn our nation into Europe. Travel between halves will only be allowed on business, since you don't want our values and we don't want you messing up our states.

You haven't even pretended to pay lip service to the Constitution in the past 10 years, and you have this annoying habit of referring to it as a "living" document (BTW, we really want to know WTH that is), so we get that too. Good luck coming up with anything as good. Any attempt at a direct replica will be met with a copyright infringement lawsuit.

We'll be keeping all those evil free marketeers by the way. And since y'all can't figure out the difference between violent and predatory and violent but protective, I guess we get the military too, and we'll be putting a halt to sales of anything more dangerous than a spork to your new nation. If you're not familiar with the letter written by Ronnie Barrett to California, now would be a good time to take a peek at it. It's going to become law.

We look to forward to denying your hurried request to re-enter the union, as any of a dozen countries march upon your newly-defenseless borders. All the best,

The Red States

The above is a work of parody. I CAN get out the "Why so serious?" pic again, to illustrate the point.

On second thought, let's try something truly revolutionary. A limited government that doesn't interfere in the business of the states. That way we can keep the union together and birds of a feather can flock together. So long as the states don't violate the Bill Of Rights (doing things like reinstituting slavery, denying jury trials, free speech, the important stuff) the states can do whatever they so choose. Wait...that sounds like...the way it was supposed to be...

Adrian