A question for the women...

i definately want kids...i dont want them just yet though...probably in my late twenties or something. Im happy just practicing right now

Eeyore, I completely and totally agree with you. Mike and I do not want children. I'm 30 years old now and I don't feel like my life is missing something because I don't have children. I had a lot of issues with my own mother when I was younger, and I really believe that has everything to do with my decision not to have kids. I have so many friends who tell me that I don't know what I'm missing, and that things are so much different when they are your own kids...blah, blah, blah. I feel bad sometimes because Mike's mother wants grandchildren by her oldest son so badly. But, it's our decision and we both agree we don't want kids. She has 6 other grandchildren between her other sons. I think it's better to be honest with yourself about how you feel. I'm not about to have a child because society says that as a woman, I should be a mother. I don't want that responsibility and I'm more than willing to admit that. I have a dog to dote on and give my affection to. But I can leave the dog at home when I go to work, go out to eat, go shopping or whatever! I can't put a child in a kennel for a week so I can go on vacation.

i dont want kids.....

that might change if i got married... but that would be a miracle in itself...

I had issues with my mother, when I was growing up as well. Err let me say, my mother had issues with me.
She told me more than once, that the only reason she had me, was because my father wanted children..not her. Of course my father was killed in the war and she was left alone with me. I have a brother, but he was from a previous marriage. She didn't have a problem with him, except when he would step in to defend me from her tirades. I don't ever remember hugging me or any of that stuff that happens between a mother and a child.

Anyhow, one time she told me "I wish that you were never born."
I was older, in my teens, and I replied, "I wish I was never born as well."
Let me tell you, that started world war three, four and five.

I was always different as child. While most little girls played with baby dolls and played house, I was playing with model horses and spending countless hours out in the pasture with our (real) horses.
In a way, the horses were more of a family than my mom was.

Anyhow, I hear all the time, "When you meet the right man, you will want to have his child."
No, I doubt that. The "Right" man, will feel the same way I do.
I have often said, the man I marry, will either not want children OR have some from a previous marriage and not want more.

I have my cats, they are all the responability I need.

I'm sorry to hear your relationship with your mom was so hard. My mom never told me she didn't want me. I always knew she loved me. She had a lot of other personal problems though, that kept her from being able to be the mom she could have been. Luckily I had my aunt and uncle to pick up where she left off. They didn't have their own children (even though they wanted them) so they jumped at the chance to take care of me.

I have a cousin right now who is going through a similar problem. She's only 11 and her mom is considering moving to North Carolina (from New Jersey) and leaving my cousin behind. My aunt (that raised me) wants us to take in my cousin. She thinks that I should take care of my cousin the way she took care of me. She doesn't understand that I just don't feel the same way about kids that she did.

i just never wanted them... nothing really to do with my relationship with my parents... and i still dont see me having any, and it dont bother me...

all i would like is to be a godmother to my best friends kids when she has them... i like that idea