Advice from a Retired Husband
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>It is important for men to remember that as women grow older it becomes
harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as they did
when they were younger. When men notice this, they should try not to
criticize.
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>Let me relate how I handle the situation. When I got laid off from my
consulting job and took "early retirement" in April, it became necessary for
Nancy to get a full-time job, both for extra income and for the health
benefits that we need. It was shortly after she started working that I
noticed that she was beginning to show her age.
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>I usually get home from fishing or hunting about the same time she gets
home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says
that she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts supper. I try
not to complain, instead I tell her to take her time and just wake me when
she finally does get supper on the table.
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>She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. It is now not
unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after supper. I do
what I can by reminding her several times each evening that they aren't
cleaning themselves. I know she appreciates this advice, as it does seem to
help her get them done before she goes to bed.
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>Now that she is older she seems to get tired so much more quickly. Our
washer and dryer are in the basement. Sometimes she says she just can't make
another trip down those steps. I don't make a big issue of this. As long as
she finishes up the laundry by the next evening I am willing to overlook it.
Not only that but unless I need something ironed to wear to the Monday lodge
meeting or to Wednesday's or Saturday's poker club or to Tuesday's or
Thursday's bowling or something like that, I will tell her to wait until the
next evening to do the ironing. This gives her a little more time to do some
of those odds and ends things like shampooing the dog, vacuuming or dusting.
Also, if I have a really good day of fishing, this allows her to gut and
scale the fish at a more leisurely pace.
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>Nancy is starting to complain a little occasionally. For example, she will
say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills
during her lunch break. In spite of her complaining, I continue to try to
offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three
days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that
missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any, if you know
what I mean.
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>When doing simple jobs she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She
had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard.
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>I try to be supportive when she needs these little extra rest breaks. I
tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade
and just sit for a while. I tell her that as long as she is making one for
herself, she may as well make one for me and take her break by the hammock
so she can talk with me until I fall asleep. I know that I probably look
like a saint in the way I support Nancy on a daily basis.
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>I'm not saying that the ability to show this much consideration is easy.
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>Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible. No one knows
better than I do how frustrating women can become as they get older.
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>However, guys, even if you just yell at your wife a little less often
because of this article, I will consider that writing it was worthwhile.
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>Signed, Bob
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>(NOTE: Bob's funeral was on Saturday, January 25th. Nancy was acquitted on
Monday, January 27th)