[jess]

Originally Posted by Mr Bluesman

Can we do some blonde jokes or will they offend?

No ! Tell us please, they are so good in general

[Captain Walrus]

Whats brown and sticky?

A stick

Keep On Rockin'

[Jim Bon Jovi]

DRUMMER JOKES PLEASE

2 drummers walking down the street

pass a shop with a big sign saying: suits £2.50, shirts £2, trousers £1.50

one turns to the other and says hey we should buy lots of suits from there then sell them on for a higher price n get soem new drum gear.

drumme rnumber 2 goes yeah good idea

walk into the shop and say can i have 50 suits shirts and trousers.

shop kjeeper says, u boys are drummers aren't u.

they answer yes, how did u know?

shop keeper says because this is a dry cleaners

[Ballad of Youth]

Where does a monkey cook it's toast?

Under the g-o-rill-a.

[*SavageJovi*]

Originally Posted by The Walrus

Whats brown and sticky?

A stick

Keep On Rockin'

ROTFL - LOVE it!

[Keba]

What's the difference between a starving artist and a pizza?
A pizza can feed a family of four.

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!

What do you call it when a bassist throws his guitar into a garbage bin without it touching the sides?
A perfect pitch.

A drummer and a bassist get in a taxi cab. Who's the better musician?
The taxi driver.

I don't tell racist jokes- I tell bassist jokes!

[Ballad of Youth]

George Bush and his wife attend a baseball game. Before it starts, a secret agent whisper's something in George's ear.

He then proceeds to grab his wife and throw her over the edge! She falls ten feet, screaming all the way, before hitting the floor and breaking her neck. Mr.Bush stands up and pretends to accept a standing ovation from the stunned crowd. The secret agent then leans over again.

"Urgh, Mr.President, I said they wanted you to throw the first pitch!"

[Mr Bluesman]

Ok, hope I don't offend anyone...

Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.

The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said,

"I think they could be bird tracks."

The second blonde went to look and said,

"No, I think these are deer tracks."

They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!

[Rosscoe]

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A stick.


How can you tell a blond has been on a computer?

There is a condom on the joystick, a piece of cheese next to the mouse, white-out on the computer screen and a dollar in the disk drive.

[Neurotica80]

I just got this on an email, to redress the balance with all the blonde jokes

60 Things Not to Say to a Naked Guy

1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahh, it's cute.
3. Who circumcised you?
4. Why don't we just cuddle?
5. You know they have surgery to fix that.
6. It's more fun to look at.
7. Make it dance.
8. You know, there's a tower in Italy like that.
9. Can I paint a smiley face on that?
10. It looks like a night crawler.
11. Wow, and your feet are so big.
12. My last boyfriend was 4'' bigger.
13. It's ok, we'll work around it.
14. Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim?
15. Eww, there's an inch worm on your thigh.
16. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
17. Oh no, a flash headache.
18. (giggle and point)
19. Can I be honest with you?
20. My 8-year-old brother has one like that.
21. Let me go get my tweezers.
22. How sweet, you brought incense.
23. This explains your car.
24. You must be a growing boy.
25. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
26. Thanks, I needed a toothpick.
27. Are you one of those pygmies?
28. Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?
29. Every heard of clearasil?
30. All right, a treasure hunt!
31. I didn't know they came that small.
32. Why is God punishing you?
33. At least this won't take long.
34. I never saw one like that before.
35. What do you call this?
36. But it still works, right?
37. Damn, I hate baby-sitting.
38. It looks so unused.
39. Do you take steroids?
40. I hear excessive masturbation shrinks it.
41. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
42. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
43. Oh, I didn't know you were in an accident.
44. Did you date Lorena Bobbitt?
45. Aww, it's hiding.
46. Are you cold?
47. If you get me real drunk first.
48. Is that an optical illusion?
49. What is that?
50. I'll go get the ketchup for your french fry.
51. Were you neutered?
52. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
53. Does it come with an air pump?
54. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.
55. Where are the puppet strings?
56. Your big gun is more like a BB gun.
57. Look, it fits my Barbie clothes.
58. Never mind, why bother.
59. Is that a second belly button?
60. Where's the rest of it?