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any germans/german-speakers here, plz help

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  #1  
Old 02-08-2004, 06:42 PM
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Default any germans/german-speakers here, plz help

im going on a work experience course in germany in the summer and ive got to send them a letter about why i chose to take part in it, and i have to include information about:
- myself (age, interests, skills, experience, studies, future plans etc)
- why you have chosen to take part in the course
- what you expect from the trip in general
- what u expect to gain from your work experience placement abroad
- which skills you want to use and improve during your work experience
... and its got to be minimum 150 words.
anyway this is what ive written so far, could someone please read it and tell me if its ok (spelling, grammar etc)? thanx

Sehr geehrte Herren/Damen,

ich bin siebzehn Jahre alt und eine Englische Studentin in die Oberstufe. Ich interessiere mich für reisen, Musik, Sport, Kino, Komödie und etwa Tiere. Ich glaube, dass ich Deutsch gut sprechen und schreiben. In der Schule studiere ich im moment Deutsch, Mathematik, Chemie und Biologie, und auch ein Fach, das „General Studies“ heisst, und ich studiere Psychologie zu Hause.
Ich bin nur einmal nach Deutschland, zum Ausflug mit der Schule, aber es hat Spaß gemacht. Wir sind in Aachen gegangen und haben in dem Weinachtsmarkt gekauft.
Ich weiss nicht, was ich in der Zukunft für Universität oder Arbeit machen will.
Ich möchte an dem Praktikum teilnehmen, weil ich nur eine Woche Praktikum schon habe, und es würde nützlich für meine Deutsche Sprache. Erlebnis in Auslande ist ganz wichtig. Ich hoffe, dass das Ausflug interessant, hilfreich und erfreulich ist. Ich möchte besonders mein Akzent, Gespräch und Hörenkönnen verbessern.
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Old 02-08-2004, 07:17 PM
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Default Re: any germans/german-speakers here, plz help

corrected a few things that i would do different or that were false. but i tried to keep as much of your original text as possible... hope that helps you. this will probably still not be perfect, but i don't think that's what they expect it to be...


Sehr geehrte Damen und Herren!

Ich bin siebzehn Jahre alt und eine englische Studentin in der Oberstufe. Ich interessiere mich für Reisen, Musik, Sport, Kino, Komödie und Tiere. Ich glaube, dass ich Deutsch gut sprechen und schreiben kann. In der Schule studiere ich im Moment Deutsch, Mathematik, Chemie und Biologie, und auch ein Fach, das „General Studies“ heisst, und ich studiere Psychologie zu Hause.
Ich bin nur einmal nach Deutschland gereist, als Ausflug mit der Schule, aber es hat Spaß gemacht. Wir sind nach Aachen gegangen und haben im Weihnachtsmarkt eingekauft.
Ich weiss nicht, was ich in der Zukunft für studieren oder arbeiten will.
Ich möchte an dem Praktikum teilnehmen, weil ich bisher erst eine Woche Praktikum hatte, und es wäre nützlich für mein Deutsch. Erlebnisse im Ausland sind ganz wichtig. Ich hoffe, dass der Ausflug interessant, hilfreich und erfreulich ist. Ich möchte besonders meinen Akzent, das Gespräch und Hörverständnis verbessern.


if you don't understand some of my corrections, or think that i changed something in your original message to something that you didn't really want to say, just feel free to ask as many questions as you want!

there are many other german speaking people here, so i hope they will correct me if i write bullshit
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Old 02-08-2004, 07:22 PM
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lol don't you get tired of all those caps in German
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Old 02-08-2004, 07:35 PM
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Default Re: any germans/german-speakers here, plz help

Quote:
Originally Posted by slippery86
Sehr geehrte Damen und Herren!

Ich bin siebzehn Jahre alt und eine englische Sschülerin in der Oberstufe. Ich interessiere mich für Reisen, Musik, Sport, Kino, Komödie und Tiere. Ich glaube, dass ich Deutsch gut spreche und schreibe. In der Schule lerne ich im Moment Deutsch, Mathematik, Chemie und Biologie, und auch ein Fach, das „General Studies“ heißt, und ich studiere Psychologie zu Hause.
Ich war nur einmal in Deutschland, als Ausflug mit der Schule, aber es hat Spaß gemacht. Wir sind in Aachen gewesen und haben im Weihnachtsmarkt eingekauft.
Ich weiß noch nicht, was ich studieren-, oder arbeiten will. Ich möchte an dem Praktikum teilnehmen, weil ich bisher nur eine Woche Praktikum hatte, und es würde nützlich für meine Deutschkenntnisse sein. Ich bin der Meinung, dass Erfahrung im Ausland ganz wichtig ist. Ich hoffe, dass der Ausflug interessant, hilfreich und erfreulich sein wird. Ich möchte besonders meine Aussprache und mein Verständnis verbessern.
Hi there! i've corrected your mistakes in the letter above
notes: a) "eine englische Studentin"... doesn't sound good- "Studenten" are only ppl which go to university- think you want to say "Schüler" (pupil)

b) Ich interessiere mich für Komödie doesn't work cause we use Komödie like an attribute- a film, a theater piece etc. can be "Komödien"- it's used as a genre

c) again the study thing: ich studiere means i go to university- when you wanna say "right now, i study maths at school" the verb you need is "lernen" - we learn in school and study at university

d) past tense of "ist" is "war" so you say i am- ich bin; i was- ich war (in detuschland) or you want to say "i have been to ger."= "ich bin in deutschland gewesen" there's no fix rule- you can use both "ich war..." and "ich bin .... gewesen"

e) i have been to....= ich war IN nicht NACH

f) i've reorganized your Aachen sentence- sounded a bit strange to native speakers...

g) pls. tell me in english why you wanna go to germany (that Praktikum sentence) this "schon" doesn't really fit and you have two meanings in one sentence

h) "it would be usefull for my German"= es wäre nützlich für mein Deutsch or es würde nützlich für mein Detusch sein - you can use both again

i) experience can have two different meanings a) Erlebnis- that's kind of an adventure and b) Erfahrung- there's no real difference in the engl. language so it's hard to say but believe me- you mean Erfahrung

j) write "in my oppinion, experience is important"= ich bin der Meinung, dass Erfahrung....

k) Ausflug is kind of a day trip- kind of if you live in London and visit Brighton for a day- don't think it's the proper word for what you do here

your german is really good! but don't forget the verbs

p.s.: wine= wein .... christmas= weiHnachten
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Old 02-08-2004, 07:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by manuit78
lol don't you get tired of all those caps in German
it drives you ****in' nuts
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Old 02-08-2004, 07:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by manuit78
lol don't you get tired of all those caps in German
absolutely, caps are evil!!!
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Old 02-08-2004, 07:48 PM
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martin, you give of course a much more professional answer, but i wanted to change as little as possible, cause i think that a text that already sounds perfect isn't always the right thing.
people who read it must think that she wrote it herself with her (not yet perfect) german. but that's probably only my opinion...
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Old 02-08-2004, 07:51 PM
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I'm too lazy but mreto has a few mistakes too.....
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Old 02-08-2004, 08:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mreto
martin, you give of course a much more professional answer, but i wanted to change as little as possible, cause i think that a text that already sounds perfect isn't always the right thing.
people who read it must think that she wrote it herself with her (not yet perfect) german. but that's probably only my opinion...
yep- you're completely right! if she takes my version they must think that she asked a native speaker to correct the letter- but i wanted to show her common expressions- i think she'll learn from that...
so girl, take his version
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Old 02-09-2004, 07:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Martin2000
Quote:
Originally Posted by manuit78
lol don't you get tired of all those caps in German
it drives you ****' nuts
that's when you like your Italian, where you can write italian and it's still correct
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