anyone here have a big earning disparity with their significant other?

so i was talking to ms jbj today and she said jokingly: my dad says i've not to marry you because you won't have the same earning capacity as me and i should marry someone i won't have to keep...

i was like wtf?!?!?!

in her defence he is way over protective of her and all of her sisters and she didn't take him seriously but still...

she's half planning on being a doctor, either way she'll most likely be making a shitload of money doing some sort of sciencey thing so i can see why she wouldn't want her marrying some stop out.

but i'll be teaching in a high school which for someone coming from a place where most people my parents age won't even earn £15,000 a year, starting off on 20k and getting year on year raises of about 10% isn't exactly shabby. i mean it's not like i'd be working in mcdonalds or just killing time till that multi million quid record deal appears....

never mind the fact that her next oldest sister is an absolute disaster of a human being with a shitty job i'm pretty sure if by some miracle a deaf blind astronaut decided to ask the tramp to marry him the old man wouldn't be stopping her from mooching off of him....


what do you guys think? this is all hypothetical btw since i wont be teaching till next autumn and she won't be a doctor or surgeon or whatever it is she's planning on doing for a bunch of years yet and marriage is not something we're even close to considering but i just thought it was interesting that the good old british class system isn't quite ready to totally die yet and was wondering if any of you had input or experiences like this.

Two engineers in the family here. Sometimes I've made more money and sometimes he has but once kids come along it's all academic anyway - the kids get it all LOL.

Seriously though - we are both in similar professions and about at the same level so really that's a question that hasn't come up. However - way back when I was the brain in high school and Paul was the ****off - my mother told me to marry someone smarter. I never listened to my mother back then - still don't actually.

The old man can say what he wants it's up to her to follow her heart or an earnings stream.

I've been in relationships where I made way more money and in some where he made all of it. In the end they all went south. Money had the least bit to do with it. The one thing I've learned is that money can't buy happiness.

Don't worry about it Jim. She'll do what she will do. After all, you have nothing to feel bad about - you got a degree and chose a very admirable profession. So what it doesn't pay a shitload. There are some really unethical job that pay loads of money --- doesn't mean the guy/girl in those jobs are better people. One thing you will always know for sure, the girl that ends up marrying you didn't do it for the money!

I'm not married (yet - so complex ) but my girlfriend of 3 years that I lived with earns about 30k as a Quality Manager.

Since I moved to London my earnings went up to a bit more than double hers, but since we're long distance (ish) now we don't really notice the difference. The cost of living in London is higher anyway.

The thing that mattters to us is the fact that I LOVE my job, and was happy earning 22k for the Police, so the money doesnt really matter; and she loves hers and strives to earn as much as she can, so we balance each other out

We do argue from time to time about it becuase I think she thinks I moved for the huge pay rise, whereas I know I moved for the opportunity - so in that way the money does affect us.

We're lucky to earn a good wodge either way, so if one left they'd be OK financially. Her house in both names, but mine is only in my name, and because we're not married we don't have to worry about all that splitting up the assets rubbish. To be honest if we split, I'd sign the house over to her anyway.

it's not something i'm losing sleep over or will have to be worrying about anytime soon at all i just thought it was a really victorian thing for him to say and could be an interesting discussion.

a while ago we had a conversation that went something like:

me: when you're a doctor i can retire and be a stay at home husband
her: and what if we don't have kids by then?
me: who said anything about kids? someone will have to watch all my nice guitars the 98" plasma and the playstation 3



in all honesty i couldn't actually imagine loafing around all day with no real purpose to be honest so he doesn't need to worry about that happening (which is ironic considering he does **** all but sit in front of the TV betting on the horses all day)

she mentioned something about headteachers earning about the same as doctors. i mentioned my brother now works in a school that an old P.E. teacher of ours is head of now. he#s making about £70-80k a year but literally lives in the place. my bro heard other teachers mentioning that his family went on holiday in the summer but he couldn't because he was too busy with school stuff.

what's the point of having that kind of earning level and spending power if you can't enjoy it?

i know guys making £16k a year working in clothes shops who are happier than pigs in shit providing they get a blowjob every now and again off their girlfriends and a night or two out at the weekend

i'm that kinda guy

Speaking from experience, having a large wage doesn't do much to you day to day. It juts means you have flasher stuff, more stuff, and more flexibilty in what you can do and buy, and where to go.

My 64k a year this year has largly gone on rent, 2 cars and clothes. My job eats my life, but it's that kind of job. I can enjoy my pay through doing things both alone and with friends/family when I get chance, but most of the cash goes on material items.

This doesnt get me down as it would some. I couldn't go back to earning less though, I like my 2 cars, and my Armarni jacket etc etc etc. I know it's all bollocks - just 'stuff' and my feet are on the ground, but it does it for me.

Money doesn't mean happiness - for some.

You can always give me some money i really dont mind honest

It is.
Personally, I couldn't care less how much money I'm earning and how much money my husband is earning. Relatively speaking, I do make more money than he does; I'm earning a little less with my part-time job than he does with his full-time job. But he enjoys his job a lot and as long as we manage to pay all of our bills and still have some money left to do/buy some nice stuff every now and then, I'm all peachy.

Oh, forgot to add that the only thing that is important to me, money-wise, is that I need to have my own income. I need to feel the security that I can take care of both myself and my son when something would happen in my marriage. Apart from the fact that I also need a job in order to develop myself too, of course; I *never* could be a stay-at-home-mom - it would drive me insane.

its all about the joke

'...about as welcome as a red haired son-in-law.'