Bible and homosexuality

Living_on_my_Hair · #1 05-24-2005, 06:46 PM

found this. quite humerous! dont wanna start yet another thread attacking the bible, just thot this was funny!

Quote:

Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to people
who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that homosexuality is an
abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned in any
circumstance.

The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US resident
and posted on the
Internet:-

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have
learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with
as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual
lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly
states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws
and how to follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
pleasing odour for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbours. They
claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus
21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female,
provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine
claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify?
Why can't I own Canadians?

d) I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2
clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him
myself?

e) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I
don't agree. Can you settle this?

f) Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have
defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my
vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

g) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around
their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How
should they die?

h) I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me
unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

i) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different
crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two
different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester
blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary
that we go to all the
trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev.24:10-16)
Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do
with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can
help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and
unchanging. Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.

andi

Thomas Anderson · #2 05-24-2005, 06:56 PM

I do find it funny how people pick and choose what they want to follow from the bible.

spunkywho · #3 05-24-2005, 07:23 PM

what a great response

Keeper · #4 05-24-2005, 07:56 PM

Irishshin · #5 05-24-2005, 09:06 PM

Thats great!

Keba · #6 05-24-2005, 10:59 PM

I liked the part about the Canadians. It's interesting how there are over 600 commandments in the bible and a lot of them (like how to treat slaves) don't even apply anymore.

Iceman · #7 05-24-2005, 11:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Keba

I liked the part about the Canadians. It's interesting how there are over 600 commandments in the bible and a lot of them (like how to treat slaves) don't even apply anymore.

And some do apply? If some do, then why don't they all apply? Who gets to choose which commandments you should follow?

Ice

Thomas Anderson · #8 05-24-2005, 11:11 PM

That is why I find religion to be so pointless. If people are only choosing which parts of it to follow then they are not really following it at all. Thus if a religious person believes that it is no longer ok to stone someone who commits adultery but believes homosexuality to be wrong then it is simply them who is homophobic.

*ºÇåptäîn¤Çrä§hº* · #9 05-25-2005, 12:48 PM

Great stuff. LOL

Something that happened yesterday comes to my mind. A couple of Jehova's Witnesses were at my Granny's house. A few minutes into the dialogue the man was asking "May I read you something out of the Bible?" and my Granny with her 78 years answered "Thank you, I am able to read myself." LOL
They felt a little pissed and said "You don't have any idea about the Bible, do you?" and my Granny was like "Just because you want to tell me what your perception of the Bible is, do I have to tell you what is mine?". And they still wanted to leave their propagandistic material. Sad people.

Jim Bon Jovi · #10 05-25-2005, 04:02 PM

the jehovahs witnesses round here are actually pretty polite.

Bible and homosexuality

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