Bruce Springsteen Mocks New Jersey Governor

Fortunately, it's looking like New Jersey will not be celebrating the third anniversary of Superstorm Sandy with a direct hit from Hurricane Joaquin. Good thing Governor Soprano was on the job:

I guess he learned his lesson from back in June when he didn't declare a state of emergency about a storm that overturned cars, uprooted trees, and shut down the railroad:

Since he fell back to declaring a state of emergency the old-fashioned way, I guess his June strategy didn't work -- or did it?

Does that mean that if you're running for president and are tied for ninth in the polls, the FIRST thing you need is a federal state of emergency declaration because it would "enhance your ability" to get the national headlines you want? Or am I just being too cynical and suspicious again? In the interest of journalistic fairness, I must concede it's also possible that Hurricane Joaquin decided to turn tail and not make landfall BECAUSE he heard about Christie's declaration. Now THAT'S the kind of leadership that's needed from a United States president!

Among this volume of ridicule of Chris Christie, you won't find many weight-oriented jokes. That's because Christie's political and ethical failings far outdistance his dietary ones -- and besides, if losing weight really was simply a matter of eating less and exercising more, everyone would be skinny.

Similarly, you'll find few suggestions that Christie, of Irish and Sicilian parentage, should be associated with the Mafia -- for instance, I refer to his administration as "Crew Christie" instead of "the Christie crew." Yes, I refer to him as "Governor Soprano," but the Sopranos were fictional characters -- and a mobster who seeks out psychiatric counseling is about as fictional as a character can get!

Which brings us to this report from the Christie presidential campaign -- relevant because a U.S. presidential job duty is commander-in-chief of the military. Cue the F-Troop theme: https://youtu.be/vhpOSirfdGk



Oh, really? Well, as much as I'd like to believe that Christie was more interested in not hurting Cunniff's feelings, his oblivion probably had more to do with not wanting to draw attention to his own weight -- especially with a presidential run in the works.

As for Christie not being aware of the reprimand, that's pretty much impossible. Cunniff not mentioning it to Christie is one thing. But there is no way that Cunniff's superiors at The Pentagon (U.S. military headquarters) would NOT have informed Christie directly that they might have to supply him with a new military subordinate in chief. That's Chain Of Command 101 stuff: as fundamental to the military as -- well, having to meet minimal physical fitness standards!

He said it...I didn't...

Gosh darn it -- it looks like those well-intentioned but loyal-to-a-fault subordinates of Chris Christie have undermined him yet again! On the heels of not informing Christie that his military point man had been formally reprimanded and was in danger of being dismissed, they may have defied a New Jersey Supreme Court order:

Now, whose idea was that -- Christie's? His communications director? His chief of staff? More to the point, what would BE the point of altering the list? How different would Christie's media contact list look from that of any of the other presidential candidates? Let's not overreact here -- maybe there were two packages of documents, and one got lost. But on the other hand, when you're paying sixteen people an average of $85K US of New Jersey taxpayer money per year, maybe it's time to do a little employee RE-evaluation...

It's been pretty quiet on the Christie campaign trail -- or has it actually been the calm before the storm?

The third national Republican party presidential debate took place the day before yesterday, and you'll be pleased to know that though his average poll rating has skyrocketed to 2.4 percent since the previous debate, Governor Soprano hasn't been resting on his laurels. He spent the weekend before the third debate manufacturing fresh "duplicating duh Donald" quotes in hopes of scoring headlines:

Not quite -- "frying like bacon" is slang for being executed via the electric chair, which is what happened to Americans convicted of premeditated murder before lethal injections were deemed more humane. So technically, the environment the movement is striving to create is one where the American justice system works properly, not the opposite.

The Face The Nation political talk show is usually filmed in Washington D.C., which would explain why Christie was on a train from DC to New York that same day:

Amtrak's quiet cars are notoriously quiet -- not only are cellphones banned, coughing fits can result in a warning, and earphone use or even typing on laptops that can be heard by others are grounds for ejection. Christie's spokesperson said he'd boarded the quiet car "accidentally." However, the passenger is probably wrong about Christie's security detail being Secret Service agents -- he doesn't qualify for them yet, and he certainly wouldn't be yelling at them. And about that smoothie -- 210 calories and a day's worth of sugar? Why did he bother having his stomach stapled?

The past week had all the makings for a big comeback for Christie -- nationally as well as locally. What better way to show off his presidential credentials than by celebrating the third anniversary of his victory over Hurricane Sandy?

And what about the interest that has been accruing on the funds he's been so slothful about disbursing in the interim? However, Christie does have a point -- should a thousand homeless people and a dozen protestors be considered the "voice of the people" of New Jersey? Forget those ingrates -- let's turn to some New Jerseyans who DO understand the meanings of appreciation and respect!

Well, forget New Jersey law enforcement, too, if they're going to drag Christie's pension looting into it. Besides, the only New Jersey poll that really counts is the one that's held on November 3 -- Election Day!

The 2015 United States Election Day has come and gone. Let's see what Governor Soprano has to show for it:


But just as a handful of people don't reflect an entire state, a single state doesn't reflect an entire nation. With the help of two Republican candidates dropping out of the race, Christie has undisputed possession of tenth place in the national poll rankings, and an opportunity to make up ground at next week's national Republican debate:

What a trouper! And only with only three other debaters to shout down, there's definitely the potential to make lemonade out of this lemon of a week!

Back in July, the web site AshleyMadison.com was hacked, revealing the private information of tens of millions of its account holders. Now for the bad news: Ashley Madison specializes in setting up extra-marital affairs between its supposedly anonymous members.

Not surprisingly, legal actions against Ashley have been sprouting like weeds. Some employees have claimed they were ordered to invent thousands of false profiles of female members to attract more men. The hackers claim they can prove that while Ashley charges extra to delete your account, they hold on to your info anyway. And of course, lawsuits have been filed by cheating spouses who feel they've been also cheated on by Ashley.

And now for the good news: Chris Christie's brother Todd was one of those cheating spouse Ashley Madison account holders!
Well, shame on Todd for being so surly -- doesn't he realize that the Ashley Madison hackers have done him an enormous favor? If I were him, I'd be grateful, and here's why:
If Todd Christie were not in the employ of either Chris Christie's presidential campaign team or his administration, this would be a private matter for him and his wife to resolve. But as a member of Chris' campaign team who holds its purse strings, the last thing in the world Todd Christie should be is blackmailable, because the further up the ladder Chris Christie rises, the more blackmailable his administration could become. A former U.S. congressman is now facing jail time because he didn't tell anyone he was being blackmailed, and he made it up the ladder to Speaker Of The House of Representatives, who is second in line to the U.S. presidency.

Todd Christie may end up without a marriage or a job with his brother over this. But at least he can't be used as leverage to force Governor (or President!) Chris Christie into acting against his constituents' best interests -- that's grounds for rejoicing!

The trials of Bridget Kelly and Bill Baroni were to start this month, but they've been pushed back to April. Which is just as well, since it appears that their lawyers very likely would have had to ask for it to be delayed anyhow:

And speaking of missing emails, remember this from about two months ago?
Well, maybe it's time to hold Mr. Christie to that standard!
No, no -- the words you're supposed to use are "confidentiality" and "proprietary." Calling them "strategies" give the impression you're trying to come up with a way to conceal something -- they're next door to the words "potentially self-incriminating!"

Now, hold on, let's get the facts straight: You can't fire him, he quit! Wildstein therefore had every right to enter the office of the person he reported to (but was not hired by) and remove what was government property (federal government, since the PA is a bi-state agency)!

According to Rachel Maddow and the court filing:
It's not news that Wildstein has claimed to have evidence that Christie not only knew about Bridge(t)-Gate, but had helped mastermind it. But he blinked despite being able to tell the prosecutors, "I get immunity, you get the hard drive, the hard drive gets you Christie"? Well, maybe the drive doesn't contain anything worth an immunity deal. Maybe it's not admissible as evidence because it had been stolen. But my guess is that Wildstein blinked because Paul Fishman And His Fabulous Feds made an counteroffer he couldn't refuse: "We get the hard drive, all you get is less jail time...because we don't NEED the hard drive!

"Sure, anything that you, Bridget or Baroni can give us on Christie would help us do a better job of nailing him on Bridge(t)-Gate. But we've got him dead bang on his attempts to cover it up, plus on his relationship with David Samson. THAT is why we have no immunity deals in stock. It's no skin off our backs if you, Kelly, and Baroni take the entire fall for Bridge(t)-Gate -- as far as we're concerned, it's only a matter of how much jail time each of you ends up with.

"So...do you give us the hard drive, or do you try your luck with a jury? Ask yourself how lucky you feel about getting acquitted -- punk!"

"He's not a friend of yours, Gov'nor!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIT0...outu.be&t=2m7s

Christie: I'm seeing Bruce Springsteen in Boston
http://www.app.com/story/entertainme...ston/77255452/