CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE DRINKER'S SOUL- drinking etc

we have quite a lot of drinkers here- not glamourising it in any way, but thought you might like this...

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work, and their dreams would be shattered. Then I said to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
--- Jack Handy

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
--- Frank Sinatra

The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober.
--- William Butler Yeats

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
--- Catherine Zandonella

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.
--- Anonymous

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
--- W.C. Fields

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
--- Tee Mans

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
--- Henny Youngman

Life is a waste of time; time is a waste of life; so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.
--- Michelle Mastrolacasa

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
--- Tom Waits

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
--- Stephen Wright

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
--- Frank Zappa

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
--- Winston Churchill

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
--- Benjamin Franklin

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
--- Deep Thought, Jack Handy

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
--- Dave Barry

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
--- Humphrey Bogart


Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
--- Kaiser Wilhelm


And God said, "Let there be vodka!" And He saw that it was good. Then God said, "Let there be light!" And then He said, "Whoa - too much light."
--- Anonymous

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
--- Dean Martin

Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862!
---Anonymous

To some it’s a six-pack, to me it's a support group.
--- Anonymous

Beer - Because one doesn't solve the world's problems over white wine.

I like the WC fields one

The first is the best

haha, that's very good!

thanks

"the road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom" - quote on a wall of a pub called MacSorley's up here.

I spent my money on booze, women and fast cars. i squandered the rest - george Best

I have the "24 beers in a case, 24 hours in a day" slogan on a magnet. These are great! Thanks Panama!

Stephanie

GREAT!!!