Children

Since I read Joviscout's post I thought this might be an interesting discussion topic... Wondering what you think about having children? Should it be something that you ONLY do as a married couple, do you HAVE to have a stable home/job etc. What about alternatives if it turns out that you can't have children: should you look into other avenues?

For me personally, I hope that if I ever have kids it will be in the context of a loving marriage so my kids will have the influence of both a mother and a father. However, I think there are a lot of people who do just fine as parents on their own and their kids are better off for not having the other parent as part of their lives.

Then there are some people who ought never have kids in the first place. I've seen crack babies (actually crack 3 year olds and older) and it makes me seethe that their mothers have had kids. I see kids who are abused. There's a little boy in one of the schools that I would love to bring home and take care of because his situation breaks my heart. It sometimes leaves me wondering where the justice in the world is because people who are terrible parents breed like rabbits and there are people who would be loving parents who can't have their own kids or go through hell trying to adopt.

Becky

I think personally it should be in a stable relationship, but that a stable home is not necessary to be honest. That being said many people cope and are very good parents and have very wise, sensible bright children other ways.

I knew a boy once who was born a heroin addict because of his mother. He was fostered by a friend and was basically my younger brother for 3 of the first 4 and a half years of his life, and then was adopted by someone else.

As a parent I can tell you that children are very adaptable. They can cope with alot as long as they are secure in the love of at least one parent.
I do believe that both parents are preferrable but not absolutely necessary. It is good having a partner however - young kids can be exhausting. It's nice to be able to say - here, you take over for awhile, I need a break!
And having watched some of my friends raise kids, it is true that some people should NOT be parents. Kids require a LOT of time and energy. If you begrudge your time to someone else - don't have kids.

Kathleen

Well, as a person who was raised by primarily one parent, I don't think I turned out too bad. Looking back, I don't know how my mom did it on her own. A full time job and raising a child is just too exhausting to think about. I look back now and can appreciate her a great deal more.

I do think that a parent(s) should have a stable home/job just for the sake of the child. Why make life harder than what it already is?

One thing I have found as a teacher is that parents have babies because they are all cute and such, but once those babies turn into teenagers parents have a hard time dealing with it. To actually sit with your child, help them with their homework each night and most importantly talk with them requires a great deal of effort, which some parents don't like to give.

I have to agree with that. I have friends that have a son the same age as mine (6) who gets "pushed away" all the time cause "having kids is a major inconvenience". Now they want a second one . For them it is something they want. Along the lines of the "perfect house" with the "perfect furniture" in the "perfect neighborhood" and every family needs more than one kid (if you only have one there is obviously something wrong - in their mind). Fortunately, they are having massive problems conceiving and so far nothing happened. I hope it stays that way.

As far as a child needing both a mother and a father - that is crap. They need a stable, loving, secure environment. If both happen to be Daddy's that is great, just as it is great to have two Mommy's. Also, just because you don't live with the child's mother/father doesn't mean the mother/father isn't just as involved in raising the kid as if they lived under the same roof.

I do agree with Kathleen, though, that it is definitely easier to have another adult to consult - lol.

As for me, I would love to have more kids, but only in a stable relationship and as a stay-at-home mom (it is too crazy having numerous kids and scheduling their daycare and my own career).

I wouldn't so sure about that.
I mean everybody lives the life they want, I have absolutely no problem with that. Some gay or lesbian couples will make better parents then some hetero couples, yes.

My question is: Can the best possible homosexual parents have the same "potential" for the child as the best possible heterosexual parents?

My answer is: I don't know.

The thing is our society, and humanity, is based on men and women. Men and women have physical, emotional, psychological differences that give humanity it's balance. Therefore I'm not sure a child raised by homosexual parents as a chance of being prepared to face the world and society in the most appropriate way since at least a small part of references will be missing in it's education.
It's just a domain in which we have no experience or reliable statistics.
But then if we never try we'll never know...
Another complexe matter to me.

Cool debate.

Ponrauil

Well, on a personal level, I don't want children. Like Kathleen said, if you're not willing to give up your time, don't bother having kids. Right now, I don't feel I could be a good mother. I know I don't have the patience. Everyone says "it's different when they are your own kids". But, what if it isn't?? Then, I've brought a child into this world when I shouldn't have.

I was not raised by my parents, but rather by an aunt and uncle. In my heart, they are my parents, even though it's not biological. Anyone can have a child, but not anyone can raise one. No matter how much money someone has and how "stable" they are, it doesn't change the fact that some people are not cut out to be parents.

I have a young daughter, costs me a fortune :/

You have a kid? Wow. What's her name? How old is she? Does she look like Elvis?