Conversion for Love?

Absolutely not. If that person is so controlled by her parents, would she be able to give YOU her love and loyalty and allegiance? For any relationship to work you have to come FIRST with each other - not your respective parents. I believe the phrase "Forsaking all others" comes into play here.

Kathleen

Emotional blackmail.... Easy one if it's not your mum.

That is true. Doesn't alter the situation though.

Even when she is willing to give up her parents, but this is a way to make everyone happy??

Well it's not just the parents but the community who don't seem to understand. Whether they wanted or not it would be tough for them as well, wouldn't it, with the egg-throwing and all that.

I think at least at first I wouldn't convert or else they'd always think they have you doing whatever they want to. I'd try reason first. Then if after some time things don't move on I *might* consider it. But taht wouldn't be a first option adn I would have to love that person very much.

Also I think it depends on the role religion plays in your life - whether you're actually a very religious person or don't care or would be doing it only as a means to get what you want and keep everyone happy and deep down not care or would take it seriously as a very real convert.

With reference to the suicide bit I don't think I could love my parents if they'd take their own life rather than see me happy for the sake of a stupid religion.

Fortunately for me something like this could never happen because my family isn't really very religious, and as I said I don't think I'd end up in a relationship with someone who was very religious.

There are some situations that won't make everyone happy. Obviously everyone should sit down and discuss what is important to them. If after all the discussions the girl's parents are completely unwilling to see any other argument but theirs - then SHE would have a decision to make. Choosing you or her parents. But YOU shouldn't have a decision to make about changing your religion or beliefs. If her parents are that paranoid that they are afriad of their standing in the community, you would never be fully accepted anyway, even if you did convert your religion.

Kathleen

In a situation like the one you described there are three choices. Convert, which makes the nutty parents happier, your significant other (SO) a little tense, and yourself at the very least uncomfortable and at the most miserable .
Don't convert which probably doesn't affect you or your SO, and makes the nutty parents hysterical. IMO there's no way the mother's slitting her wrists over her daughter's boyfriend's religion.
Break up which makes the nutty parents ecstatic and you and your SO miserable.
All choice suck, but I'm sticking with the wisdom of Yoda here "When all choices seem wrong, choose restraint." I wouldn't convert, or I might try to explain to the nutty parents that any possible future conversion on my part should be treated as a sham.

Adrian

You're dating a girl, not her parents. Like Kathleen said, it's her decision, not yours.

I would never convert to anything for any woman. But then again, I would think long and hard before getting into a relationship with a woman who's a believer anyway. I've had my share of crazy parents too, which is why like women who aren't on their parents leach anymore. Age sadly doesn't seem to have any effect on it.

Ice

Slight misunderstanding on some of the above. Girl is a believer, but doesn't live her life by the rule of the law of her religion. I.e. she follows the moral aspects, but not stuff like don't drink alcohol, sex before marriage etc.... I.e. She is Westernised.

Parents do not know this, parents don't know about boyfriend. This is about softening the blow when they find out.

Unfortunately age doesn't have an effect, when you have had it drilled into you for your whole life, however it isn't the fact that she is on a lease but has to do the act of telling the parents she isn't what they think she is - with all the consequences (of which have been made pretty clear) that brings.

& regardng who you fall in love with, you can't pick & choose.

Is it not selfish to say 'It is her problem?' & is feeling slightly uncomfortable worse than losing your parents?? Or living with the guilt that your actions drove one of them to suicide??