My mother asked me not so long ago why I didn't have a boyfriend, I said because I didn't want one.. question: Are you a lesbian, because I wouldn't mind.... thought pattern of my mother!
The best one was to my sister, my sister got married a year after her daughter was born, my mum said "Will you tell Juliette that you weren't married before you had her?" My sister: "Well, she's on the wedding pictures!"

Tash