Ex Partners

This thread is a pretty good overview of the differences between people when it comes to Exs. So Kev, there is really no specific rule or law. It depends on the persons involved. I'm in that situation now, so far it's working just fine. But neither of us have been prone to drama or power trips either. The relationship ended due to circumstances beyond our control, not one screwing the other over. We have a friendship as the foundation that is still there with no good reason to end it.

I personally regard people who just X people out of their lives at the end of a relationship indiscriminately as emotionally immature and not people I'd want to be involved with as it says alot about their mental workings. When a relationship turns sour due to abuse, dishonesty, or any obvious negative that would result in a friendship ending when applying the same situation, then it makes sense to X them out. But when a relationship just stops working beyond either party's control, you should have had at least a friendship as the foundation. So when you X them out, you are basically saying "if you want to have any connection to me, you have to be with me or nothing at all" or "We were only about sex so you are worthless to me without that." I require friends who are further along in their mental, emotional, and social development. I must admit my circle is small as a result, but I also have alot less bullsh** in my life.

On the other hand, again it boils down to the people involved. You see divorcees that are the best of friends and you see those who are mortal enemies. You might have one person who is emotionally mature to be able to sustain a friendship after the end of the relationship, but the other is incapable of doing this, either by continuing to pursue or unable to adapt themselves mentally and emotionally. So there is an unhealthy balance that is unlikely to end unless they stop being a part of each other's lives.

You might want to stay away from your ex, Kev. As you said, she only seemed to want one thing. If you can get away with just enjoying that one thing, great. But you want a friendship that from what you describe, she doesn't seem to place value on. So you may have to adjust your view of her as a just a piece and use that to your advantage or just cut her off completely. Personally, I'd cut her off if she doesn't want to sustain a friendship as I'd rather move along and get my sex from someone fresh.

One more thing, being attracted to each other doesn't neccessarily mean that you should be together. It's easy to make mistake of attempting a relationship with someone you are attracted to that you should have only been friends with. A break up can be a chance to rectify that mistake. There is no law that says you should only have friends that are unattractive to you. Just know where the line is drawn.

This is the short version of my post.

well...It was my birthday. It was rianinig. The other day I was supposed to go to a festival. I hadn' seen her for 2 weeks . We met in the middle of the night and I told her that I never really loved her.Luckily, she forgot my birthday present at home She flipped out a bit...I gave her my umbrella and I went home thru that puring way without answering any of her questions.
Well...that's a bit of a personal experience but a fe beers just make me wanna' share ...

That's why "get out of my life" is my philosophy. It would not be healthy for me to stay involved with Mr. Not Right even as a friend because I'd just wind up hurt. There's only one person I ever was really in love with. There are other people I dated that I'd certainly speak to and say, "Hey how are ya? What are you doing now?" if I saw walking down the street, but they're not people I see often because we just don't run in the same circles. In fact, I don't see Mr. Not Right either, but I'd probably turn and walk away if I did.

Becky

oh god this made me laugh!! I too broke off with a boyfriend on my birthday, but I didn't even let him in - I just yelled down the balcony for him to get lost. He was sitting outside on the sidewalk, crying with my present in his hand.... ahhhhh sweet revenge for his cheating and general selfishness.

Anway, you should share more often or have beer more often

I think you should call her but not be too nice just in case she is still hoping you didn't mean what you said after all

condoms burst and theres always crabs

Dawn

And there's always RID.

In your case, if would make sense to cut them off. But it does sound to me like you have yet to be involved with or date someone that you can still truly be friends with yet. So you might change that philosophy if that happens. You could be cutting off a lifelong close friend otherwise.

Where in my current situation I have a potential lifelong friend....the previous relationship if I ran into them on the street, I'd stare at them with the "why aren't you dead" look and get away as quickly as possible because they quite frankly, were psychotic and abusive. Bad news all around. You don't want lovers like that and you certainly don't need friends like that either.

It all depends on who you are dealing with, but that is why I say it's not a good idea to declare a blanket policy or you may lose out.

To keep the friend you had before the relationship??? It can only work if there are no feelings involved, which is why I said most of the time it ends badly.

He had your present in his hands???
So you said you are married ???!!!

I think I'll call her. I mean, I really had a great great time with her(despite the fact that I cheated a few times on her)and I might move to some other place and I don't know if we'll meet again. But it's her fault I find all girls I meet ugly, not good enaugh, stupid...