so for all those trying to cut out swearing as New Year's Resolutions, how abt this?



FOUL LANGUAGE AT WORK


Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention
that some individuals throughout the company
have been using foul language during the course
of normal conversation with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received from some employees
who may be easily offended, this type of
language will be no longer been tolerated.

We do however, realize the critical importance
of being able to accurately express your feelings
when communicating with co-workers.

Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases
has been provided so that proper exchange of
ideas and information can continue in an
effective manner.


1) TRY SAYING:
I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF:
You don't know what the fcuk you're doing.

2) TRY SAYING:
She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF:
She's a ball-busting b*tch.

3) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF:
And when the fcuk do you expect me to do this?

4) TRY SAYING:
I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF:
No fcuking way.

5) TRY SAYING:
Really?
INSTEAD OF:
You've got to be shitting me!

6) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF:
Tell someone who gives a sh*t.

7) TRY SAYING:
I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF:
It's not my fcuking problem.

8 ) TRY SAYING:
That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF:
What the fcuk?

9) TRY SAYING:
I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF:
This sh*t won't work.

10) TRY SAYING:
I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF:
Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?

11) TRY SAYING:
He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF:
He's got his head up his ass.

12) TRY SAYING:
Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF:
Eat sh*t and die.

13) TRY SAYING:
So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF:
Kiss my ass.

14) TRY SAYING:
I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF:
Fcuk it, I'm on salary.

15) TRY SAYING:
I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF:
Shove it up your ass.

16) TRY SAYING:
I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF:
This job sucks.

17) TRY SAYING:
You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF:
Who the hell died and made you boss?

18 ) TRY SAYING:
I see.
INSTEAD OF:
Blow me.

19) TRY SAYING:
He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF:
He's a pr*ck.

Thank You,
Human Resources