Funniest thing you've ever witnessed?

Inspired by a brilliant thread on another board. What's the most ****ed up funny thing you've ever seen?

I've got a couple that I still laugh out loud when i think about.

One of my friends nearly fell out of a treehouse while he was constructing it. That was only funny later. My best friend and I helped manage a garage sale - he wound up selling a whole variety of useful car equipment for about $60 less than it was worth, and later we had a bit of difficulty demonstrating how to put up a picnic pavilion.

Adrian

What has been immortalised as The Ashtray Incident

When we'd just left school to go to college etc... me n my mates took a habit of meeting up in a pub in Glasgow for a couple of drinks when we had days in together.

One mate (who we shall now refer to as moronboy) decided he'd rather sit in the pub all day getting hammered instead of going to college so strangely enough, he got kicked off his course but didn't want to tell his mum so he just kept going to the pub all day.

As a result of him being a moron, he got fired/ asked to leave work at around the same time so we come into the pub one afternoon and he's already smashed waving about wads of severence money and buying everyone drinks.

He then decides getting a cocktail is a good idea so he buys a jug, puts it on the table and goes to get everyone elses drinks. By time he comes back we've all drank his cocktail to piss him off.

He's kinda mad so we pour all the dregs of our empty drinks into an ashtray and tell him to drink our cocktail....

now the thing about moronboy is that he'll do anything to impress so instead of thinking, don't be so ****ign stupid, he picks upt he ashtray and starts drinking.

We're sitting stnned in absolute disbelief as this idiot drinks something that looks like someone spewed up with fag doubts and ash included.

He finishes, just kinda stands up and walks to the toilet calm as you like.

By now we're in hysterics at the whole ****ed up situation and after about half an hour we decide someone should go and check on him cause he's not came out of the toilet.

We walk in to find him covered in his own sick and he'd somehow managed to fall into the guys urinal (one of the big horse trough like ones)

I've never laughed so hard in my life than that and I still have to stop myself laughing if I'm on the bus or in class and think about it.

well that I can think about right now, just last thursday I was just in a corner talking with some of my friends and then we all see this beautifull girl walk past us, we were all staring at her just astounded by how beautifull she was, she noticed it. Then she looked at us smiled and someone from the inside of an office opened the door and slamed it in her face.

The toilet in our extra bathroom decided to do a fountain imitation one night. Started gushing water from the base around 10PM. We finally realized what was going on about two minutes later (it's on the other end of the house) and started laying down towels. It drenched our kitchen, hallway, and dripped through the basement ceiling.

Another funny incident that I still laugh about to this day...I put a bowl of chocolate chips in the microwave to melt, set the timer for five minutes and walked off to go read a book. About four minutes later my mom's shouting to me that the kitchen's filled with smoke. Not only had I melted the chocolate, I'd also burned it, and the house was filled with burned chocolate fumes for two days. The smoke was gone in a couple hours.

Adrian

you don't melt chocolate in a microwave fool, you boil water in a pot and have the chocolate in a bowl or something over it so the steam melts it.

But i digress.

come on there must be more stuff. I've got tonnes of them but I want some more debauchery 1st.

I just remembered one I did.

Me n a handful of mates go to see Scotland getting bent over at football whenever they're playing. As is the norm, you need alot of drink to take the edge off the absolute lack of any sort of skill or dignity of the team.

so we're outside the stadium having a couple of beers having already spent a good few hours in the pub. we're all kinda drunk but nothing severe.

anyways 2 cops come across us and decide to book us for drinking in the street.

we're giving the mandatory bullshit you pass off to them and one asks how much I've had (just a couple of beers officer) and tells me to sit down on a stack of bread crates piled up, but i've clocked that these are upside down and there's no way they're going to hold. I point this out and get told to "sit down or you'll spend the match in a cell...."

one of my mates did get the jail because he couldn't stop himself laughing to give his details when i fell on my arse right in front of these cops and trying to act really sober getting up.

I've got way too many stories invcolving these guys actually but I have my dignity to defend so you won't be hearing the worst by a long shot.

My friends and I were driving to a little Liquor Store on night... (They sold Beer to us underage people LOL) And we pulled up to a Toll Booth.... My friend started yelling that he didn't have any change and he'd just put a dollar in there... Well... Nobody was in the booth and the only thing there was the change machine. So we all started digging out change and we had exactley 35 cents and this is what I specifically said.. "Don't Miss...." So he rolls down the window and as he is throwing, hit is arm on the door and the change scatters everywhere. LOL... Then he put the car in park and got out to look for all of it... By the time he found it all he put the change in the machine and it still stayed red... So then he started throwing random pennies and stuff till it finally turned green... While he was doing all that... The other four of us were laughing our asses off in the back seat. LOL

Ryan

Jim Bon Jovi,

1. Kissing pavement outside pizza hut in newcastle, October 04

2. Jims amazing pulling techniques in baja beach club, newcastle oct 04, pictures to prove it my friend

3. Our dear scouse friend Kev attacking our dear scouse friend paul with various objects full of water

Please elaborate