Hell

Not sure how credible this story is, but it is funny nonetheless!

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The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of
Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so
"profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the religions state
that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since
there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong
to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls
in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has
to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my
Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,
and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has
already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct leaving
only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains
why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

this is a common joke by students- think i received at least 5times an e-mail with it - but anyway thx for sharing
btw: does anyone know the mathematical proof that women are evil? if not, i'm gonna post it

I've seen it a number of times, something to do with money is the root of all evil, women want you to spend money on them so we are evil.

Stephanie

This has also circulated around the engineering community for years Tash. I always liked it because I wished I had had the nerve to write an exam question like that

Kathleen

We can agree that A women is a product of time
and money right?

Woman = Time * Money

We all know that time is money...

time = money
woman = money * money

woman = (money)^2

We also know that money is the root of all evil,
correct?

money = sqrt(evil)

woman = [sqrt(evil)]^2

Hence,

woman = evil

WOMEN ARE EVIL!!!

I know what you mean!! I remember hearing an urban legend at my school that a student once reserved the essay question for his exam "What is guts?" Apparently he handed in a blank page with only at the bottom the sentence "This is guts!"... Needless to say he passed!

not as blatnatly takign the piss as that but i like to slip little bits n pieces into essays and exam papers i think i can get away with.

last week I handed in an essay on why britain was the 1st nation to industrialise and managed to get in a comment about Kappa tracksuits and folk going over to spain on holiday to pick up booze and fags. Ill report back when i get the grade.