Help me - University letter

hey guys, i am trying to write a letter of motivation to apply at a university in austria to study tourism management. the following is what i got so far. what do you think about it? which improvements could i make? cheers

I am interested in attending your University in order to further my education in Tourism. I feel that your University is the best one for me due to the fact that it offers courses in all of the languages that I speak. This includes English, Italian and Russian. Furthermore, the opportunity to learn other modern languages, such as French and Spanish appeals to me. I am particularly fond of your school because each class is taught using the English language.

I feel that I would be an asset to your school as I enjoy working in teams. I do not sit back and let someone else do my work for me. I am a hardworking individual but also willing to help out others.

Some of my outside interests include singing in my local gospel choir, along with horseback riding. I also enjoy athletics, such as netball. I have a great fondness for travelling and have even spent an academic year at a College in England, which I found extremely enlightening. During that year I have had the chance to study Travel and Tourism as an Advanced Vocational course and particularly enjoyed the chance to get an insight into the industry as well as to gain experience in working with customers in various situations. The subjects covered in this course included:

· Tourism Development
· Worldwide Travel Destinations
· Investigating Travel and Tourism
· Marketing Travel and Tourism
· Customer Service in Travel and Tourism
· Visitor Attractions

I graduated from this course with grade B. Additionally, I was able to achieve several more qualifications in the tourism field which can be perceived from my curriculum vitae.

I have a passion for learning about other cultures and languages, as I am an open minded and outgoing individual who enjoys talking to people from different backgrounds and nationalities.

My work includes a job with EF. This is an institution offering language travels and exchange programs. My responsibilities there include working as a manager assistant in a language and culture camp in addition to informing future exchange students about their academic year ahead. I learned a great deal from this work experience along with indulging in my passion for dealing with other cultures and discovering foreign countries.

I think it's great. By structure, it's almost similar to the ones I wrote last year when I applied for jobs, and I took part in a two-day course in CV and letter of application writing.

I have one comment though - I think that you should add something general to the beginning - something about where you had the information about the University. Usually, the suggestion is to put something like "In regards to your advertisement in the xxx paper on the xxth of xx, I would like to apply for a job...". So, for example something about that you've read their prospectus or something.

This is just a suggestion... Tell me what you think...

It sounds like a Mickey Mouse degree.

thank you, taija i will try to change it a little



and i suppose you know about that

Actually, it was Laura but no harm done. Practically the same thing.

I didn't mean for you to change anything, just add a general introductory sentence in the beginning...

sorry
i do get mixed up with you two, you sound so similar and on both your profiles it says finland...
i'm really sorry

I have sent the tickets off today

Wish you well in your application, it's the first stage in getting an interview so best of luck.
Be honest and say 90% of your time is spent on this board.
cheers

Shuggymac

Don't worry, you're not the first one to confuse us, and probably won't be the last. But just so that you know in the future, I'm the one and half meters tall blonde, whereas Taija is the blonde one and half meters tall one.

Thanks (once again!) for sending the tickets. I'm sure we'll hear a loud cry of joy from Taija's end when she receives the tickets.

i wish i could be there to see her face :P

Hey Choc,
Its sounding good!!!

Just tell them that you will create a BJovi club and who could say no??? *only joking*


I hope the application goes well