hey guys can u help me again? (bloody school again!) i know ive done this before and its probably annoying you all now but... (please! help me, pretty please!)
im in the school orchestra and we're doin a concert in a couple of weeks and i really dont feel like it cos theres a girl there whos kind of a friend but she also kind of bullies me, (except im not supposed to admit it). the last time there was one of these shows, i was really ill, and we were practising for it, and she was picking on me and telling everyone in the orchestra my secrets that she'd promised to keep. that really gutted me. and then she started doing this thing that shes been doing for the last 2 or 3 years which is whenever she sees me and her little brother anywhere near each other she pulls him away from me and says im dangerous and wild and mad and i could start killing him at any moment, and then she tells everyone around how "dangerous" i apparantly am. (a few days ago i was talking with him and some others in his year, which is 2 years below me and this girl's year, and she saw us and started calling me a paedophile.)
recently someone else who had been bullying me for a long time was picking on me in a lesson and the teacher wasnt doing anything and left and she got even nastier after the teacher left and we had an arguement and i slapped her and i got in trouble for it even though i didnt hurt her (and she admitted it didnt hurt, except when she was telling on me, thats when she exaggerated and said that i had hurt her, to get me in more trouble. and also theres been times shes hurt me even worse, and not got in troble) and this first girl has been saying even worse stuff about me cos of that, and shes been saying im violent and im going to jail and im 1st on death row, and this is really hypocritical of her cos 2 years ago someone else slapped me even harder, it hurt for more than an hour afterwards and there was a massive mark on my face, (we were on a school trip and i tripped up and swore, and when i got up this girl slapped me for ruining the image of the school. we were hours away from school, and not in school uniform!) and at the time she said it was a good thing that shed slapped me.
the problem is ive told this first girl loads of times that im sick of her taking the p!$$ out of me but she doesnt listen and says "when have i done that?" etc and says its not being nasty or bitchy or bullying, its only teasing, and she does it to all her other friends too. ive seen her teasing them and she really is teasing them, its different to when its to me, cos she never calls them what she calls me or says they deserve to be slapped, and she doesnt go round telling everyone stuff about them, but she does that to me, she goes round saying all kinds of weird $h!t about me. once she was calling me a nazi and went round saying i was a nazi to about 20 people before i stopped her and said to stop, and she said "its only teasing, i do it to all my friends, just watch" and went to them and said "you smell" etc, but she didnt go round telling 20-odd people that!
what should i do about it? im in the same class as her for loads of subjects and im in the orchestra with her, and shes even worse during orchestra cos she shows off with that crowd, and also shes loads better than me at music (shes got loads of qualificiations in it but she has no passion for it. ive lent her lots of records, including BJ, and shes said they werent "proper" music, and she doesnt understand when i talk about how much they mean to me.) and shows off and picks on me for not being so good at it, and also if theres italian terms in it that i dont understand she says im thick, cos everyone expects me to speak loads of italian cos im part-italian, but i can only say about a dozen words, so when she knows something i dont then she gets all smug about it, and also quite racist. (if they used african terms instead of italian terms and someone got racist at a part-african person for not knowing something, that would be racist and not allowed, but she really gets away with it when its racist at me!)
i want to skive off the next show (i skived off the last cos i was sick anyway, and she picked on me and made other people gang up on me, which made me feel even worse) but if i dont do the next one ill get in trouble cos the music teacher wants me to do it and if i dont do it again shell think im skiving. even if im really ill shell think im faking it and skiving, cos twice in a row is a bit of a coincidence... i dont really want to talk about it with my parents and im not too keen on talking about it with my teachers, cos theyll say "why did u let it go on so long, its your fault, why didnt u sort it out/tell us earlier, etc." i dont want to get her in too much trouble cos shes one of my only friends (maybe that should be "friends") and i dont think she realizes how much shes annoying me, but when i try to tell her she doesnt listen or understand, and she says im complaining about nothing, and its only teasing. (and then she wonders why i dont trust her any more.)