Jon's a Handsome Devil, BUT --

When the late Whitney Houston's daughter was found unresponsive in a bathtub (just like the late Whitney Houston), I grumbled to a friend that "the tabloids are going to have a field day." She replied, "The Illumi-Nutties, too."

"Illumi-NUTTIES? What's that?"

"Well, it's really 'Illuminati.' But look it up, and you'll see why I call them Illumi-Nutties."

Worst advice I've ever taken.

In a nut(ty)shell, the Illuminati is a secret society of corporate and government masterminds who worship Satan and confer the highest levels of fame and fortune only upon those willing to sell their souls and sacrifice a loved one:
http://youtu.be/tlesJaK8uCE

If you rebel, they destroy you professionally (according to Randy Quaid and Dave Chappelle). And if you renege, or if they decide you're more valuable to them dead then alive, they bump you off (the alleged fates of Whitney, Michael Jackson and Robin Williams). It's not limited to movies and music, either -- not even the world of sports is safe. The Illuminati isn't just a conspiracy theory -- it's an entire industry!

And now for the big question: what does a search of Illuminati and Bon Jovi reveal? Happily, not much -- just some whining over the devil being mentioned in Homebound Train, and a possible indoctrination attempt of Jon by "Illuminati figurehead and royal" Prince William.

Jon managed to outsmart that devil worshipper in disguise by insisting that they sing Living On A PRAYER. But the prince may not have ended up empty-handed: Taylor Swift was with them, and she has since switched from country pop to...well, whatever this is supposed to be.

I'm off to take a shower because I feel like I've been swimming in bullshit. In conclusion, will the congregation please rise for the playing of the

I've chewed on quite enough of the Illuminati, thank you. I cannot believe that there are videos by the dozens -- and video views by the millions -- of such Grade-A crap.

There is absolutely NO reason to suspect Illuminati in Jani's death: the "right" -- that is, most profitable -- time to sacrifice him would have been late 1992, when pop metal was being squeezed out by grunge and the sales of Warrant's Dog Eat Dog album could have used the boost.

This just in -- The Boss is down with the Illumi-Nutty, too!

In 2009, Bruce Springsteen's road manager and cousin Lenny Sullivan was found dead of an "accidental" drug overdose -- "blood sacrifice" of a loved one in exchange for phenomenal fame and fortune accomplished!

Illumi-Nutty alert -- Jon with devil horns!



And note the five-sided figures on that soccer ball -- stealth inverted pentagrams!!!

I don't even know what to say to any of this.

Other than "I'd like to know where they buy their drugs," you mean?

No I mean this thread in general. People are being quoted that aren't even in the thread. I'm just lost.

What the ****.

Oh, I thought you meant that you were appalled, too! I moved them from this thread because Becky changed its title and they were no longer appropriate. I was planning to inform Becky that she can delete her posts if she likes.

Aloha !

Pretty much every "news" item you post on this board is not appropriate and they're still here. Shall I contact one of the mods to tell them they can be deleted? These topics in which you're talking to yourself are annoying, completely pointless and only seem to serve your own need for supposedly quality journalism on this board.

Salaam Aleikum,
Sebastiaan