Aloha !

Maybe a few of you remember the topic about online relationships in which I shared my story of a girl I fell in love with online. When we met for the first time in real life it didn't work out and she didn't want to give it another chance. After the meeting she suddenly had another attitude and didn't agree with anything I said. I decided to avoid her for a while by not talking to her which helped a bit since when we talked for the first time after a while it got better.

She said she realised she still thought about her previous crush very much, a guy called Joris, and that she hoped I could sort of replace him as she never had the guts to call or mail him or something after she met him. I understood her and we spoke about it lots of times. I thought it was good too as we finally had something to talk about again without annoying eachother. She said she would see him again in August during the Pukkelpop festival in Belgium where she met him for the first time too as they both worked for the organisation. Things gotten better as we (while we didn't say we would) didn't talk to eachother as much as usual, but when we talked we had good talks and no more annoying discussions in which we both got angry at eachother.

I began to think that I might have been a moron as well when I formed my reactions to her in some discussions, and suddenly lots of lines came up and I wrote a song about it. I decided to send it to her on valentines day including a card, to sort of apologise for what happened.

Sorry this isn’t Joris
but I thought you deserved a card
We’ve had our little romance
which found it’s place here in my heart
Sometimes you might feel lonely
when you’re not in his arms
Maybe in August it will change
and you’ll see time did have it’s charms

Don’t worry this ain’t a way
to show you I’m still in love
This is just a way to thank you
for your hugs and the good laughs
You’ve really helped me out some times
when listening to my crap
And I thought this would be a nice way
to give you something back

Anyway
I gotta say
I’ll be seeing you again
And our relation will have grown further
From a lover to a friend

I know you’ve had your moments
and I’m sure that I’ve had mine
It might have been our own ignorance
heh we’re both funny valentines
I know I sometimes am a moron
for not showing who I am
But I promise when it’s all over
I’ll be nice on msn

Anyway
I gotta say
I’ll be talking to you soon
Enjoy this valentines day
A kiss, a hug, I love you too.

When she did receive it her reaction disappointed me very much. Her first reaction was that she had been stupid for falling in love with me online, stupid for expecting so much (while we did and still do have a lot in common). I now realise that it wasn't me who's reactions had been stupid but it was her who's opinions and arguments had been weak, plus that I found out that some of her arguments and "facts" weren't true at all but just made up to “win” the discussion, something which she had accused me of a few times. She does not let anybody defend their argument as she claims she’s always right because she studies it (which she does though) and therefore thinks she knows all about it as she divides every person in a category without knowing enough of the person her/himself.

I now have thrown her out of my MSN list without telling her. (she'll probably know though) This might sound silly but after all the good conversations we had before we met were they still were in the back of my mind which kept me away of throwing her out. Now she sort of screwed it for herself. I now do know too that she isn't ready for a relationship, and that that Joris guy will find that out too.

Anyway, just needed to get this off my chest.

Salaam Aleikum,
Sebastiaan