Please, don't give up !
I don't know you but your desire to be a father for this child even if you don't live with him is apparently sincere. You can be a good father even by seing him like the judge would say.
It's very complicated and painful and very very frustrating i guess.
It could take time, this sort of procedure is long but don't give up, one day he will understand you were there for him and that you were always in his life since the beginning ! that's what counts trust me. A child needs to know his parents love him, no matter if they are together or not, far from each other etc .... just that they love him. It's important for him as a person in his future. never forget that, even if it's very difficult for you now, "keep the faith" when you're down think of him, he'll need you.