Aw i am so sorry 2 hear about ur loss that is really bad. Losing someone is always hard, but u say that she had a good life? well that is good. Not being able 2 say goodbye is really horrible but im sure she knows how much u love her and she wouldnt judge u on not going 2 visit her in hospital. I hope u feel better soon and the funeral goes ok. PM me if u ever need 2 talk be happy and just remember the good times i know it sounds corny but she has gone 2 a better place!