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Man! what a wife!

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  #1  
Old 03-09-2004, 01:01 PM
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Default Man! what a wife!

oh gosh this may be moved but this is so funny. lol

Marriage (Part I)

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"

His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."

(DAMN SHE'S GOOD!)

Marriage (Part II)

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary! The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.'

"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, "Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last.'"

(HE ASKED FOR IT!)

Marriage (Part III)

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house.

After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "what took you so long to answer the phone?"

She says, "I was in bed."
"In bed this early, doing what?"
"Getting a second opinion!"

(YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!)

Marriage (Part IV)

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of six?"

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts right back,
"Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."

(RIGHT ON, LADY!)

God may have created man before woman but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
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  #2  
Old 03-09-2004, 01:30 PM
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EXCELLENT !!!!

I will send them to my husband
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Old 03-09-2004, 01:35 PM
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Amazing!
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Old 03-09-2004, 01:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jess
EXCELLENT !!!!

I will send them to my husband
Are u married?????/.
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Old 03-09-2004, 01:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by allmike
Quote:
Originally Posted by jess
EXCELLENT !!!!

I will send them to my husband
Are u married?????/.



NOT AGAIN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 03-09-2004, 02:14 PM
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Aloha !

Quote:
Originally Posted by jess
Quote:
Originally Posted by allmike
Quote:
Originally Posted by jess
EXCELLENT !!!!

I will send them to my husband
Are u married?????/.



NOT AGAIN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sssh Jess, just tell him about us ! :P

Salaam Aleikum,
Sebastiaan
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Old 03-09-2004, 02:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jess
Quote:
Originally Posted by allmike
Quote:
Originally Posted by jess
EXCELLENT !!!!

I will send them to my husband
Are u married?????/.



NOT AGAIN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL!!! Just say yes!! Is easier, but most know the truth!!
Cool Panama!

Tash
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Well it ain't no secret
I've been around a time or two
Well I don't know baby maybe you've been around too
Well there's another dance
all you gotta do is say yes
And if you're rough and ready for love
honey I'm tougher than the rest
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Old 03-09-2004, 02:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Supersonic
Aloha !


Sssh Jess, just tell him about us ! :P

Salaam Aleikum,
Sebastiaan


Now he is going to ask ....
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Old 03-09-2004, 02:22 PM
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very good.
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Old 03-09-2004, 02:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jess
Quote:
Originally Posted by allmike
Quote:
Originally Posted by jess
EXCELLENT !!!!

I will send them to my husband
Are u married?????/.



NOT AGAIN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
__________________
I wish I was a neutron bomb, for once I could go off
I wish I was a sacrifice but somehow still lived on
I wish I was a sentimental ornament you hung on
The Christmas tree, I wish I was the star that went on top
I wish I was the evidence, I wish I was the grounds
For 50 million hands upraised and open toward the sky
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