Marriage and Living together.....

I think it never was what we were made believe it is. Just today, women have more rights, abilities, and courage to get up and leave than they had 100 years ago.

As far as the same rights, not over here, here you either marry or you are roommates. Hence the whole gay marriage issues.

Also, the worst part about a divorce isn't the money - at least not over here - each takes half and whatever they brought into the marriage and walk their seperate ways. The emotional issues are by far greater and more difficult to deal with.

You really amaze me. Of course it is MUCH harder to walk away from a marriage than just a living situation, but that is a BAD thing in my opinion. So, you propose to make sure you are married before you get on your partners nerves so they can't leave ..... hmmmm sounds VERY familiar to me lol.

Living together is not like playing house ----- it is the real deal when you wake up together and go to bed together every single day. I have no clue about the games you are playing, but this is the most _ thing I've ever heard.

Tis okay!! Just thought that I was going crazy there!

thats the whole point , because the couple live together without a commitment , one usually just leaves simply because they just can whenever they feel like it. It seems to me that married couples work at the relationship more before breaking up and there relationship is more secure. Not much more, but it is still more secure !

I think most relationships are doomed in this day, the fundamental reasons of the partnerships is now messed up, both partners appear to be selfish now more than couples from say 30 -50 yrs ago. I can honestly say I know no happy married or living together couples under the age of 60.

I really think people need to go on training to be married.

Dawn

exactly, its prob why so many people feel tied to stay in unhappy relationships

I may possibly be one of these jaded young folk you're talkign about dawn but how is being stuck and forced to try and work at somethign that isn't workign out in in alot of cases, makign people absolutely miserable as opposed to realising much sooner that things are going to go tits up and getting out before it costs you a coupla grand in legal fee's, alot of stress and half of what you earn?

I mean what you're saying isn't too disimilar from you buying a house you've never been in that turns out to be dilapidated but there's not much you can do once you've moved in.

Well, I think leaving is 10 times better than staying in a relationship where there is no love or respect for each other just because you are married. Maybe that was the case so many years ago but thankfully now, in this day and age, I do not have to settle for a loveless marriage or a partner who beats me.

Amen!

then if its the real deal why dont people get married and make it real, because in general they cant commit and want an easy way out.

If you dont agree with my opinion then fine , Ive obviously hit a raw nerve
that you feel you need to accuse me of playing games!!!!!!

Usually a couple in a solid relationship want to sign a contract of marriage, they want the relationship to be solid and to be seen that way. Lets face it, the law doesnt recognise living together the same as marriage. Its certainly is not as you have twisted it around getting married before you get on your partners nerves comment so they cant leave , people can still leave within marriage but it helps to know the contract has made the relationship worth fighting for. Boht partners have equally agreed to commit to the rlationship and a life together as stated in the marriage vows. Basically a marriage contract gives the relationship value in this world. Well thats how the law views it and I agree with that.

Dawn

I thought there was a whole lot more to marriage than it keeping you tied!!

I refuse to think that's what marriage is for. I'd never marry someone in order to know they can never leave me or anything. Staying in a relationship is a personal *choice* and there's no need for a higher contract to keep both partners tied to it.

I know lots of couple living together whitout being married that are much more committed and respectful towards their relationship thatn many married couples.

Whether the relationship turns out okay or not doesn't depend on whether there's a contract or not. For me, the contract means much more than having your partner all tied up to you

because not everyone shares the same religious beliefs - marriage is mostly a religious thing - then a money and legal issue - and then a form of self-expression. Nothing to do with it being the real deal or not. Most people don't even know what the real deal is and assume something is when in fact it isn't.

no, you did not strike a nerve of mine as I don't really care about the issue one way or the other. and no, I am not accusing you of anything - I was just wondering about those games as you accuse people of 'playing house' when they merely live together.

have to disagree. I think most people get married because of outside pressure and because of expectations from the girl/family/friends/etc. People who want a relationship to be solid and seen that way - will achieve that through the way they treat each other and respect each other, not a rock on her finger.


Women are still brought up made to believe that if the guy doesn't propose in a certain amount of time he is 'afraid of committment' and women are still put under pressure when they are not married or engaged by the time they are in their late twenties and are viewed as 'weird' and 'why does nobody want her'. The whole talk about how much more meaningful 'living together' is once you have a ring on your finger just exasperates that pressure and I resent that. I think it is very dangerous talk and does an extreme disservice to all young and impressionable females.

(off my feminist soap box lol)