Marriage Definitions

>===============================================
>************MARRIAGE DEFINITIONS***********
>===============================================
>>
>>1. Marriage is not a "word". ---It's a sentence -----(A LIFE
>>sentence).
>>
>>2. Marriage is love. Love is "blind". ---Therefore marriage is an
>>institution for the "blind".
>>
>>3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his
>>---"Bachelor's Degree"
> and the woman gets her "masters". :P
>>
>>4. Marriage is a three ring circus:--- "engagement ring",
>>---"wedding ring and ---"suffe-ring".
>>
>>5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
> In the 1st year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman
>listens.
> In the 2nd year,the woman speaks and the man listens.
> In the 3rd year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOR listens.
>>
>>6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with
>>friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the
>>other person has,
> "you wish you had ordered that instead".
>>
>>7. There was this man who muttered a few words ! in the church and
>>found himself married.
>__ "A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found
>himself divorced".
>>
>>8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking;
> the --"husband gives" and the ---"wife takes".
>>
>>9. ---Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
> -Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.
>>
>>10. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China,
> ---a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her.
> Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!
>>
>>11. 'Love" is one long ---"sweet dream", and "marriage" is the
>>---"alarm clock'.
>>
>>12. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand "before marriage,
>>it is love";
> after marriage it is ---"self-defense".
>>
>>13. When a newly married man looks happy, ---"we know why".
> But when a 10-year married man looks happy, "we wonder why".
>>
>>14. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for
>>her.
> They got married, and 'now he is going through HELL".
>>
>>15. Confucius says: man who sinks into woman's arm soon have arms
>>in woman's sink.
>>
>>16. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to
>>let him keep her.
>>
>>17. Eighty percent of married man cheat in America, the rest cheat
>>in Europe.
>>
>>18. *****After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a
>>coin.
> *****They just can't face each other, ******but still they
>stay together.
>>
>>19. Marriage is man and a woman "become one".
> The trouble starts when they try to decide "which one".
>>
>>20. Before marriage, a man y'earns for the woman he loves.
> After the marriage the "Y" becomes silent.
>>
>>21. I married Miss."--- ---" RIGHT, I just didn't know her FIRST
>>name was "ALWAYS"
>>
>>22. It's not true that married men "live longer' than single men,
>>it only "seems longer".
>>
>>23. Losing a wife can be hard. ******In my case, it was almost
>>impossible.
>>
>>24. A man was complaining to a friend: *I HAD IT AL! L-MONEY, **A
>>BEAUTIFUL HOUSE,
> ***THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, ****THEN POW! IT WAS ALL
>GONE.
> ***** WHAT HAPPENED, asked his friend. *******He says MY WIFE
>FOUND OUT.
>>
>>25. WIFE: Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
> HUSBAND: OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the
>hallway lights on.
>>
>>26. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another:
> AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER?
> The other replied, YES, I, AM. I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN.
>>
>>27. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he
>>still ends up with the same boss.
>>
>>28. A man inserted an ad in the paper  WIFE WANTED.
> The next day he received a hundred letters and
> they all said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE.
>>
>>29. When a man opens the door of his car for his
> wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the car is
> new or the wife is.
>>
>>30. Man is incomplete until he gets married,
> "THEN he is FINISHED".

>>17. Eighty percent of married man cheat in America, the rest cheat
>>in Europe.

Oh I will have to control my personal statistics because of this fact...

LOL

are my fav.