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Old 04-09-2004, 12:11 AM
inge inge is offline
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Default my daughter, I need advice

I need advice from you all. Today I went with my 17 year old daughter to bbuy a bikini( Is this the right word?) Now she suddenly thinks she is not pretty she is too fat( has size 36, that`s supersmall) and she cried all evening cause she is so insecure about herself. Whatever I say, and her sisters say she still thinks she is not pretty. When she looks into the mirror she says she sees someone not too good looking.
And I really think she looks great( we all think and boys think too) she is a very nice pretty sociable girl but she doesn`t think so.
What should I say to her? How can I help her to see herself different and what can i do( and not do) to make her not so insecure?
A lot of you are young enough to recognose her feelings and give me advice?????????
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Old 04-09-2004, 12:15 AM
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RichieW2001 RichieW2001 is offline
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send her over to me

nah, seriously, everyone gets to that awkward insecure stage. i used to have acne which needed hospital treatment. i used to feel shit constantly and none of the girls looked twice. it was a phase i grew out of and my confidence is sky high now. she'll be fine. just let her deal with it like we all have to.
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Old 04-09-2004, 12:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RichieW2001
send her over to me

nah, seriously, everyone gets to that awkward insecure stage. i used to have acne which needed hospital treatment. i used to feel **** constantly and none of the girls looked twice. it was a phase i grew out of and my confidence is sky high now. she'll be fine. just let her deal with it like we all have to.
you did? you look very nice richie
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Old 04-09-2004, 12:17 AM
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RichieW2001 RichieW2001 is offline
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i had two years of terrible skin and then 8 weeks of tablets to clear it grrrrrrr

and thank you.....
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Old 04-09-2004, 12:18 AM
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I think every girl goes through this at one time or another. It's always a shame when they do think these things though... society has a lot to answer for!! Anyway, I would try and listen to her, ask her why she thinks she is fat and try to give her your reasoning. The worst thing you can do is say she is stupid or disregard her feelings, she obviously thinks this for a reason. It might be someone said something to her and at this age girls can be quite impressionable. On a different note, watch her eating habits, this can develop into something more serious (Anorexia or Boulimia) and you want to catch that early on.

Hope this helped some

Good luck
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Old 04-09-2004, 12:19 AM
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Tell her about me, she will fell the prettiest girl on earth! lol no, i'll explain. ive never been very pretty or had the perfect body, but since i have to take some medicines my body and even my face changed a lot, I dont feel well with myself right now, I need to lose weight... well, a lot of problems. make her understand that there's people in much worse sittuations than her, if you say shes pretty (i believe you) she should just thank God for it. Not everyone was born pretty. But I understand she can not feel well with herself, talk to her, ask her what is wrong, help her...
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Old 04-09-2004, 12:23 AM
Jim Bon Jovi Jim Bon Jovi is offline
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Happens to the lot of us really.

I'm not a great lookign guy by any stretch of the imagination but I don't worry about other peoples opinions enough to let it bother me.

Sadly alot of people do but the only way to help is give her all the compliments and encouragement she needs.

Being confident is alot more attractive than looking nice but having both is great. If you can make her love herself for who she is then you're set.
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Old 04-09-2004, 12:25 AM
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thanks guys.
I think you said it right..I am worried she will turn into anorexia..that`s my greatest fear...it comes so easely and it``s so hard to get cured.
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Old 04-09-2004, 12:39 AM
Jim Bon Jovi Jim Bon Jovi is offline
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I don't want to put a downer on you but there's not much you cna do to stop that happening if someone has there mind set on doing it.

i know people with it and it's bad karma man but nothign anyone does or says will help them.

luckilly it;'s pretty rare and most likely just teenage insecurity
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Old 04-09-2004, 12:49 AM
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That's just it Jim, it isn't rare. It is quite common among young girls and it is getting worse due to society's distorted image of what the female body should look like.

There are warning signs, you just have to watch out for them. If you see something that you don't like, contact your doctor. She is still underage so you can admit her to hospital if necessary. I know this is all worst case scenario stuff, but you're better off thinking about your plan of action if and when the time comes than being surprised.
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And if you're rough and ready for love
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