Pretty good....although I'm not entirely sure about all the references to BJ songs in there. I'd try and just write something for you.....don't use other artists good lines, make your own! BTW, if you're the 'I' in the poem/ song thingy, then just go for it....don't be afraid of the 'no'

Keep On Rockin'

ps. Taking advice from a walrus....man, has your life got weird