My second song: Seein' Stars

This is my second song i've written, please feel free to review! I got the inspiration from a very unusual place....while I was skiing, I fell and concussed my self....It hurt like hell, but was very inspiring! In sound, its kinda pop/rock sounding....whenever I sing it, it sounds much like 'I'd Die For You'. Right, here it is:

Seein' Stars

The speed at which we're going
Leaves no room to turn
And I can feel us getting faster now
As the trail we blaze
Begins to burn

Its a slippery slope we're sliding down
And there'll be obstacles in our way
But if you're here to guide me down
I know we'll live to fight
Another day

Together
We can make it through
Together
Just me and you
Without you
My world keeps spinning round
And round and

Seein' Stars, when we're apart now
Seein' Stars, you know its true
Seein' Stars, and its forever
I lose my way without you
Seein' Stars, so take my hand babe
Seein' Stars, and you'll guide me
Won't be Seein' Stars, when we make it down
Cos you'll be all I see

Well sometimes things just happen
Just fall into your path
And there's no way you can stop 'em
Cos you expected the calm
To last
And before you know what's happening
You could trip and lose it all
But as long as you're here with me
I know that I'll
Never fall

Baby if I slide through a world of pain
And forget all I once had
Well, you would still be here beside me
And it wouldn't be that bad

Without you
I know I'd slip
Without you
I'd lose my grip
Together
Is the only way to go
And go and

Seein' Stars, when we're apart now
Seein' Stars, you know its true
Seein' Stars, and its forever
I lose my way without you
Seein' Stars, so take my hand babe
Seein' Stars, and you'll guide me
Won't be Seein' Stars, when we make it down
Cos you'll be all I see

(Solo)

Together
I know we'll make it through

Seein' Stars, when we're apart now
Seein' Stars, you know its true
Seein' Stars, and its forever
I lose my way without you
Seein' Stars, so take my hand babe
Seein' Stars, and you'll guide me
Won't be Seein' Stars, when we make it down
Cos you'll be all I see

Seein' Stars
Seein' Stars, you know its true
Seein' Stars
And all I need is you
Or I'll be Seein' Stars





Keep On Rockin'

well done

but very cliched - i'd need to hear the music to judge

i don't want to sound rude but i said "well done", not "good"

i can never judge a song without music...

most of bon jovi's music as poetry is rubbish but when it complements the music sometimes i consider it to be great poetry

ok then... like letitrock said 'clished'....
'good' is mine :P
and i just judged what i read- the lyrics

has it got music to it? if so can we hear it?