The following are actual stories told by travel agents...

A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii.
After going over all the cost info, she asked, "would it be
cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"

I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I
started to explain the length of the flight and the passport
information when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to
make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without
trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained,
"Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa."
Her response....click.

A secretary called in looking for hotel in Los Angeles. She
gave me various names off a list, none of which I could find I
finally had her fax me the list. To my surprise, it was a list
of hotels in New Orleans, Louisiana. She thought the LA stood
for Los Angeles, and that New Orleans was a suburb of L.A. Worst
of all, when I called her back, she was not even embarrassed.

A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I
asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he
was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is
not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He
replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is
a very thin state."

I got a call from a man who asked, "is it possible to see
England from Canada?" I said, "No." He said "but they look so
close on the map."

Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in
Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a
1-hour lay-over in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to
rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and
I need a car to drive between the gates to save time."

A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was
possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got
into Chicago at 8:33am.
I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois,
but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally
I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!

A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical
description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs
to who?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well,
when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my
luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there
any connection?" After putting her on hold for a minute while
I "looked into it" ( I was actually laughing) I came back and
explained the city code for Fresno, California is FAT, and
that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her
luggage.

I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I
know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he
meant, which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823,
but none of these darn planes have numbers on them."


A business man called and had a question about the documents
he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion
about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't,
I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those."
I double checked, and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When
I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and
every time they have accepted my American Express card."