Given:

Barney is a cute purple dinosaur

Prove:

Barney is Satan

Start with the given:

C U T E P U R P L E D I N O S A U R

Change all U's to V's (which is proper Latin anyway):

C V T E P V R P L E D I N O S A V R

Extract all Roman Numerals:

C V V L D I V

Convert into Arabic values:

100 5 5 50 500 1 5

Add all the numbers:

666

Coincidence? I think NOT!

Don't tell me I'm paranoid, I know that they're after me.