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  #1  
Old 12-13-2003, 11:10 PM
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JOEYKID JOEYKID is offline
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Default Solutions
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic!
Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat
and presto! the blockage will be almost instantly
removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while
you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the
toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut
yourself and bleed for a few minutes thus, reducing
the pressure in your veins.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock,
will prevent you from rolling over and going back to
sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of
laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a
hammer, then you will forget about the toothache.

Sometimes, We Just Need To Remember What The Rules Of
Life Really Are...

You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape, If it
doesn't move and should, use the WD-40; If it
shouldn't move and does, use the Duct Tape.

The five (5) most essential words for a healthy, vital
relationship are, "I apologize," and "You are right."

Remember; Everyone seems normal until you get to know them!

Never pass-up an opportunity to go potty...

If you woke up breathing, Congratulations! You get
another chance.
And finally, Be really nice to your family and
friends, you never know when you might need them to
empty your bedpan!
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  #2  
Old 12-13-2003, 11:11 PM
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Thanks for posting Andy

Stephanie
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  #3  
Old 12-13-2003, 11:14 PM
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Default Re: Solutions
LMAO...these are the best ones...thanks a lot for posting andy

Quote:
Originally Posted by JOEYKID
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while
you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the
toilet seat by simply using the sink.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock,
will prevent you from rolling over and going back to
sleep after you hit the snooze button.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a
hammer, then you will forget about the toothache.
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2006: Dusseldorf, Glasgow, Manchester, Coventry, Southampton, MK x2, Hull, NJ x3.
2007: London JBJ Q&A, London, NJ x3. 2008: Dublin, Manchester, Coventry, Bristol, London x2.
2010: NJ x3, London x4. 2011: Munich, Manchester, London, Dublin x2, Lisbon. 2012: RS London.
2013: Manchester, Birmingham, Dublin, London. 2014: RS Belfast. 2016: London. 2019: Dublin x2, Liverpool, London
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  #4  
Old 12-13-2003, 11:15 PM
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ha ha Thanks!
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  #5  
Old 12-13-2003, 11:18 PM
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jade4jovi jade4jovi is offline
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Very funny
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  #6  
Old 12-13-2003, 11:25 PM
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Keeper Keeper is offline
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Those were funny!

Quote:
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the
toilet seat by simply using the sink.
Euk... That's disgusting!





Quote:
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock,
will prevent you from rolling over and going back to
sleep after you hit the snooze button.
Ha, I'm goint to have to try that!!!!
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  #7  
Old 12-13-2003, 11:28 PM
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Tashjbj Tashjbj is offline
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The key to successful living!!

Thanks Andy!

Tash
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Well it ain't no secret
I've been around a time or two
Well I don't know baby maybe you've been around too
Well there's another dance
all you gotta do is say yes
And if you're rough and ready for love
honey I'm tougher than the rest
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  #8  
Old 12-14-2003, 03:21 AM
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oh gosh these are hilarious. really was larfing out loud!!!!


thanks andy!
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  #9  
Old 12-14-2003, 12:06 PM
jovilaura_fi jovilaura_fi is offline
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hih

What's WD-40?
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  #10  
Old 12-14-2003, 01:28 PM
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Ice
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Only dead fish go with the flow.
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