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  #1  
Old 08-28-2003, 09:25 PM
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Default Somebody help me...please

Hey everyone
Im a bit down in the dumps at the moment. I have fallen out with my (joint) best friend. She means the absolute world to me...

We always get on absolutely fantastic and never once argued. At the start of this week however, we had a litle bit of a row, but got over it straight away. Then yesterday morning we had a bit of a bigger argument, but was pretty much alright for the rest of the day. Then right at the end of the day (working day, because I work with her, shes actually one of my managers on my department) we had another argument. This time it was a MASSIVE one, and we both said a lot of things we shouldnt. I had, had a bad day overall and I guess, she just happened to be the person who was closest to me, when i really couldnt take it no more and i really had a go at her. I know I shouldnt have done...I know i was the one in the wrong.

We left work yesterday without talking to her, so I was really upset and sent her a txt message an hour or so later saying how sorry I was, and i was completely out of order flipping on her, while knowing she was the one i really didnt wanna hurt because she is my best friend.

She didnt reply to my message, and in work today. she completely blanked me, and we were both really busy and to be honest, didnt even have time to talk to one another.

I think we have been spending..perhaps TOO much time with one another lately and It was just bound to blow up in my face sooner or later. That always seems to happen.

I have thought about sending her flowers to say im sorry, i know she would like them, but at the moment i dont know if she wil throw them back in my face, because she is really angry with me (which I totally understand) and now...im just kinda scared that she will never talk to me again. Without her, im nothing, shes my rock, she is the most amazing friend any guy could have.

I wanna make up with her, but I dont know if she wants to?

What do I do? Do i send her another message, or go with the flowers option? Maybe one of you guys have a plan of your own?

PLEASE, help me.
Kev
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  #2  
Old 08-28-2003, 09:26 PM
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RichieW2001 RichieW2001 is offline
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flowers maybe a bit heavy. she's probably in the same situation as you in that she thinks you're ignoring her. go talk to her. if she's unwilling to talk and get it sorted, maybe she isn't the friend for you.
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Old 08-28-2003, 09:34 PM
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yeah best u talk with her...justpour yr heart out, its more powerful and caring then flowers ever could be.

good luck
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Old 08-28-2003, 09:38 PM
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Old 08-28-2003, 09:38 PM
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yep- best thing you can do is definately go talk to her- but i don't think it's best to confess your feelings about her as a reply of an argument- don't think she's gonna believe it- just show that you're damn sorry bout all that and admit that YOU were the one who was wrong- say it honestly- she'll most likely forgive you and then watch the future what will happen between you and her! good luck!
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Old 08-28-2003, 10:13 PM
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Well, from a woman's point of view. I would say leave it for maybe another day. Woman and men tend to handle arguments differently. A man is usually ready to forgive and forget after an argument and a woman usually stews for a couple of days before calming down. I think she is just giving you the silent treatment at the moment and is not willing to back down just yet. At work, don't ignore her, but don't pretend like nothing has happened (we hate that!!), then if possible on Saturday, go round to her house and ask if you two can talk. Bt then she will have calmed down. I also think there are so other issues at hand, if you've had 3 arguments in one week, try and get her to talk about it and remember to stay calm, do not get defensive or try and justify your behaviour (not saying you are wrong!!). I'm sure if you talk it out it will be fine. Also try and talk on neutral ground, take her at for coffee or a drink, that doesn't give one person the edge, so to speak.
Hope this helps some.

Tash
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  #7  
Old 08-28-2003, 10:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tashjbj
Well, from a woman's point of view. I would say leave it for maybe another day. Woman and men tend to handle arguments differently. A man is usually ready to forgive and forget after an argument and a woman usually stews for a couple of days before calming down. I think she is just giving you the silent treatment at the moment and is not willing to back down just yet. At work, don't ignore her, but don't pretend like nothing has happened (we hate that!!), then if possible on Saturday, go round to her house and ask if you two can talk. Bt then she will have calmed down. I also think there are so other issues at hand, if you've had 3 arguments in one week, try and get her to talk about it and remember to stay calm, do not get defensive or try and justify your behaviour (not saying you are wrong!!). I'm sure if you talk it out it will be fine. Also try and talk on neutral ground, take her at for coffee or a drink, that doesn't give one person the edge, so to speak.
Hope this helps some.

Tash
thanks to everyone has replied so far...

Tash...that sounds lik an excellent plan, cheers. Personally I wanna leave it for another day, but at the same time, I dont want her to think, that I dont care...which I do...an awful lot. I havent been eating as well, as I normally have, and woke up at 6am this morning without going back to sleep, coz of sheer worrying.

Even me mum says, that the flowers on one hand, are a good idea, yet its a bit heavy as RichieW2001 says. I also think sending flowers is a bit "boyfriend-girlfriend" type thing, but its nothing like that and surely she would stil appreciate them?!?!

Whatever I do, i dont wanna leave it too long, coz the longer I was to leave it, the worse it will get...for both of us.
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2000: Stoke. 2001: Huddersfield, Cardiff. 2002: London. 2003: Glasgow, Wolverhampton, Manchester, London.
2006: Dusseldorf, Glasgow, Manchester, Coventry, Southampton, MK x2, Hull, NJ x3.
2007: London JBJ Q&A, London, NJ x3. 2008: Dublin, Manchester, Coventry, Bristol, London x2.
2010: NJ x3, London x4. 2011: Munich, Manchester, London, Dublin x2, Lisbon. 2012: RS London.
2013: Manchester, Birmingham, Dublin, London. 2014: RS Belfast. 2016: London. 2019: Dublin x2, Liverpool, London

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Old 08-28-2003, 10:45 PM
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Well Kev ... I wish ya all the luck with it and hope it will work out owkee !!! Seems like you really regret the things that were said and that were done and I know if she is that good of a friend like you describe ... she has to see it at some point !!
So best thing to do is talk to her just the way you told us everything !!!!

Good luck with it and keep us up to date ... I'll cross my fingers for ya
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  #9  
Old 08-28-2003, 10:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kev
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tashjbj
Well, from a woman's point of view. I would say leave it for maybe another day. Woman and men tend to handle arguments differently. A man is usually ready to forgive and forget after an argument and a woman usually stews for a couple of days before calming down. I think she is just giving you the silent treatment at the moment and is not willing to back down just yet. At work, don't ignore her, but don't pretend like nothing has happened (we hate that!!), then if possible on Saturday, go round to her house and ask if you two can talk. Bt then she will have calmed down. I also think there are so other issues at hand, if you've had 3 arguments in one week, try and get her to talk about it and remember to stay calm, do not get defensive or try and justify your behaviour (not saying you are wrong!!). I'm sure if you talk it out it will be fine. Also try and talk on neutral ground, take her at for coffee or a drink, that doesn't give one person the edge, so to speak.
Hope this helps some.

Tash
thanks to everyone has replied so far...

Tash...that sounds lik an excellent plan, cheers. Personally I wanna leave it for another day, but at the same time, I dont want her to think, that I dont care...which I do...an awful lot. I havent been eating as well, as I normally have, and woke up at 6am this morning without going back to sleep, coz of sheer worrying.

Even me mum says, that the flowers on one hand, are a good idea, yet its a bit heavy as RichieW2001 says. I also think sending flowers is a bit "boyfriend-girlfriend" type thing, but its nothing like that and surely she would stil appreciate them?!?!

Whatever I do, i dont wanna leave it too long, coz the longer I was to leave it, the worse it will get...for both of us.
I wouldn't do the flowers just yet. It is a bit heavy and if she's still miffed she might see that as you trying to buy her off, if you know what I mean.. women are strange! I would say, wait until you've made up and then send the flowers, that way she will see that you made the effort to talk it out and the flowers are just an extra apology. I am positive that she will appreciate you talking it out more than flowers. Just give it another day.

Tash
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Well it ain't no secret
I've been around a time or two
Well I don't know baby maybe you've been around too
Well there's another dance
all you gotta do is say yes
And if you're rough and ready for love
honey I'm tougher than the rest
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  #10  
Old 08-28-2003, 11:23 PM
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Good Luck Kev! You will sort it, just do as the other people have said and leave it for a bit then take the first step and talk
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