Strange New Computer Viruses

Strange New Computer Viruses


The Al Gore Virus -
Causes your computer to just keep counting and re-counting.

The Clinton Virus -
Gives you a 7 inch Hard Drive with NO memory.

The Bob Dole (aka Viagra) Virus -
Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

The Lewinsky Virus -
Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone
about what it did.

The Ronald Reagan Virus -
Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

The Mike Tyson Virus -
Quits after two bytes.

The Oprah Winfrey Virus -
Your 300 Mb hard drive shrinks to 100 Mb, then
slowly expands to re-stabilize around 200 Mb.

The Jack Kevorkian Virus -
Deletes all old files.

The Ellen Degeneres Virus -
Disks can no longer be inserted.

The Prozac Virus -
Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't
care.

The Joey Buttafuoco Virus -
Only attacks minor files.

The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus -
Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.

AND THE FAVORITE ......
The Lorena Bobbitt Virus -
Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy . . . then discards it through Windows.

The Clinton and the Schwarzenegger ones are cool.

Thank you - I needed a laugh today.

Kathleen

haha, very good!

cant you find any British political stuff to post

not jokes i'm afraid but some good quotes.

"The labour Party has lost the last four elections. If they lose another, they get to keep the liberal party."
Clive Anderson.
"If the word 'No' was removed from the English language, Ian Paisley would be speechless"
John Hume.
"I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end."
Margaret Thatcher.
"Harold Wilson is going around the country stirring up apathy."
William Whitelaw.
"I don't know what I would do without Whitelaw. Everyone should have a Willy."
Margaret Thatcher.
"The difference between a misfortune and a calamity is this: If Gladstone fell into the Thames, it would be a misfortune. But if someone dragged him out again, that would be a calamity."
Benjamin Disraeli.
"I have no interest in sailing around the world. Not that there is any lack of requests for me to do so."
Edward Heath.
"The Labour Party's election manifesto is the longest suicide note in history."
Greg Knight.
"At every crisis the Kaiser crumpled. In defeat he fled; in revolution he abdicated; in exile he remarried."
Winston Churchill.
"The British Secret Service was staffed at one point almost entirely by alcoholic homosexuals working for the KGB."
Clive James.

no one ccan do it like the yankees

hehe