Strange New Computer Viruses


The Al Gore Virus -
Causes your computer to just keep counting and re-counting.

The Clinton Virus -
Gives you a 7 inch Hard Drive with NO memory.

The Bob Dole (aka Viagra) Virus -
Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

The Lewinsky Virus -
Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone
about what it did.

The Ronald Reagan Virus -
Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

The Mike Tyson Virus -
Quits after two bytes.

The Oprah Winfrey Virus -
Your 300 Mb hard drive shrinks to 100 Mb, then
slowly expands to re-stabilize around 200 Mb.

The Jack Kevorkian Virus -
Deletes all old files.

The Ellen Degeneres Virus -
Disks can no longer be inserted.

The Prozac Virus -
Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't
care.

The Joey Buttafuoco Virus -
Only attacks minor files.

The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus -
Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.

AND THE FAVORITE ......
The Lorena Bobbitt Virus -
Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy . . . then discards it through Windows.