Stupid?
8 MORONS OF 2004
1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter
after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a
$26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking
intelligence.
2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA spent two
hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his
home. After firing
ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside
them in the police
line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."
3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, Kidnaped a
motorist
and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein
the kidnapper
proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for
all the
money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up
the store clerk
and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and
grabbed him.
5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery
suspect who
just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each
man in the lineup to
repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man shouted,
"that's not
what I said!".
6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??? A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife
is
pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart". "Is this her
first child?" the doctor
asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"
7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard
King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a
weapon. King
used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to
keep
his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!
8. THE GRAND FINALE!!! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the
high
desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were
having a
problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22
foot boat
going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much
power they
applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a
nearby marina,
thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough
topside
check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine,
the out-drive
went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one
of the
marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath.
He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
(NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE.)
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was
.....................................the trailer!
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03-12-2005, 11:10 AM
Hilarious.
)
