Temperature Extremes-Something to offend everyone

Temperature Extremes
+20° - Greeks put on sweaters (if they can find them).
+15° - Hawaiians turn on the heaters (if they have them).
+10° - Americans shake, Russians are planting cucumbers.
+5° - You can see your own breathing.
Italian cars don't start.
Norwegians take a bath.
Russians drive with lowered windows.
0° - Water freezes in America , in Russia it thickens.
-5° - French cars don't start.
-10° - You're planning a vacation to Australia .
-15° - Your cat insists to sleep in your bed. Norwegians put on sweaters.
-18° - New York landlords turn on the heaters.
Russians make their last seasonal picnic.
-20° - American cars don't start. People in Alaska start wearing long-sleeves.
-25° - German cars don't start. Hawaiians are dead.
-30° - Politicians start talking about homeless people.
Your cat prefers to sleep in your pajamas.
-35° - Too cold to think. Japanese cars don't start.
-40° - You're planning a 2-week hot tub bath. Swedish cars don't start.
-42° - Transportation stops in Europe . Russians eat ice cream on the street.
-45° - All Greeks are dead. Politicians really start doing something for the homeless.
-50° - Your eyelids start sticking when you blink.
In Alaska , people close the window in the bathroom.
-60° - White bears start moving south.
-70° - Hell froze.
-73° - Finnish special services evacuate Santa Claus from Lapland.
Russians wear earmuff hats.
-80° - Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.
-114° - Ethyl alcohol is freezing. Russians are unhappy.
-273° - Absolute zero, atomic movement stops. Russians wear boots.
-295° - 90% of the planet is dead. Russian soccer team becomes the world champion

Kathleen

Haha, pretty cool. Thanks for posting. I would imagine most of these are true

I'd intereject ranom lots of "English people moan that it's cold"

That was great, Kathleen!

This is the one I've seen for years:

Finnish Weather
+15°C
It doesn't get warmer than this in Finland, so we'll start here;
The Spanish put on caps, winter jackets and gloves.
The Finns work on their tans.
+10°C
The French try, in vain, to get the central heating started.
The Finns plant flowers in their gardens.
+5°C
Italian cars refuse to start.
The Finns go cruising in cabriolets.
0°C
Distilled water freezes.
The water in the Vanda stream gets a bit thicker.
-5°C
People in California get cold damage.
The Finns are grilling the last hot dog before the winter.
-10°C
The English turn on the heat in their homes.
The Finns put on a sweater.
-20°C
The Australians flee Mallorca.
The Finns stop celebrating midsummer, autumn is here.
-30°C
People in Greece die from the cold and disappear from the face of the earth.
The Finns hang their laundry to dry indoors.
-40°C
Paris cracks in the cold.
The Finns stand in line at the hotdog stand.
-50°C
The polar bears evacuate the north pole.
The Finnish army postpone their winter survival training in waiting for a
proper winter.
-60°C
Koarvatunturi freezes.
The Finns rent a video and stay indoors.
-70°C
The fake Santa Claus moves south.
The Finns get upset because it's impossible to make Kossu (Koskenkorva)
outdoors. The Finnish army start their winter survival course.
-183°C
The microbes in food doesn't survive.
The Finnish cows complain that the milkers' hands feel a bit cold.
-273°C
ALL atom-based movement ceases.
The Finns tell each other "Perkele, it sure feels cold today".
-300°C
Hell freezes over.
The Finns win the Eurovision Song Contest.

Now that's good

I'll send it back to the guy who sent me the first one

Kathleen

they're both good

Yeah, but I'm still not offended. Bah.

Well I didn't want anyone to think I was picking on the Russians.

Kathleen

Was it THAT cold last year?